The Presence of Evil

Sunday, Aug 13, 2006

Sometimes there are moments in life when the presence of evil enters our lives and we don’t recognize it until too late. Other times it is all too obvious.

As a 17 year old I enlisted in the Marines thinking I would go to Vietnam and be part of an honorable endeavor to defeat the evil of communism. I trained to kill other humans and I somehow thought nothing was evil about such training.

I went to Vietnam in December 1967 thinking I was about to take part in an honorable act. By the end of January 1968, I realized I was in the presence of evil so dark and ghastly I couldn’t fathom ever returning to a state of goodness.

That darkness of war and killing still stains my soul to this date.

Even though I knew the evil by January, 1968 I continued as a participant until February 1969. I felt helpless to change my destiny or my life’s course despite realizations of the horrible path I was on. I only thought I could stay alive and help those around me stay alive.

Any consideration of standing up against the abstract evil seemed out of the question.

Once I had returned, I found the evil too much to bear and repeatedly walked away from the Marines rather than carry out my duties.

After more than one year of being absent without leave and being declared a deserter, I left the Marines with an Undesirable Discharge. It was by mutual agreement I left the Corps with the discharge that would leave me without VA benefits.

The Marines didn’t want a court martial of a combat veteran who had hired an ACLU lawyer. I didn’t want one more day or one more minute in the Marines. I didn't want one more visit to the brutal brigs of that time.

Leaving the Marines didn’t mean I left Vietnam. I still have the dark cloud of Vietnam on my soul 38 years since I first entered the country. I’ve come to realize I’ll never completely wash my hands of the evil of that time.

Since the end of Lyndon Johnson’s presidency and beginning of the presidency of Richard Nixon I’ve also known the evil of American politics. I’ve come to expect evil from our politicians from the way they’re elected to the ways they either cause or allow evil and suffering to happen.

No time have I felt more evil emanating from politicians than since George W. Bush took the office.

The presidency of Bush is without a doubt the most evil of times I’ve known in my life. The overt corruption is only outranked by the violence and death wrought by his regime.

If any man could qualify as a candidate for the anti-Christ, it surely would be Bush or one of his cabinet. I try hard not to hate others but I fail in my efforts not to hate Bush and the people who surround him.

Today, on a hike with my wife, I came across the presence of evil once again.

This time it had little to do with politics or war but yet there was a connection. The irony was the trail we hiked was Hell’s Hole in the West Chicago Creek area of the Mt. Evans National Wilderness near Denver.

The area is pristine aspen groves, wild berries, wildflowers and rugged terrain. Our hike took us to a ridge above the Hell’s Hole where the mountains of Colorado were glorious and wild off in the not too far distance.

Hiking is a spiritual experience to us. The magnificence of God is clearly shown in special places such as the Rocky Mountains.

Today the joy of witnessing such beauty led us up the steep trail toward each new ridge and crest of hill where even more beauty could be seen. The green of the forest was breath taking; the flowers in full glory and huge mushrooms of wildly different colors dotted the landscape.

And in a brief moment of madness, the presence of evil entered into the spiritual world we had come to see and be part of.
As we reached a point near the final ridge of the trail, we were approached from the rear by an athletic man in his mid thirties or early forties. He seemed pleasant and harmless.

Since we were going at a slower pace than him, we stepped aside to allow him to pass.
Instead of passing, the man stopped and engaged us in talking about the hike and the weather.
His affect struck me as strange right from the beginning. He seemed to argue about the state of the weather forecast and he seemed unable to make adequate eye contact. But the conversation seemed appropriate for the setting.

Suddenly without any reasonable prompt, the man told us he talked with his pastor about heaven and hell. He said the pastor didn’t really give him much of an answer.

At first mention of religious matters I began to have more concern about this intruder into our spiritual time in the forest.

I had greater reason for concern when he told us he hadn’t gotten the answer from the pastor about going to hell if he were to kill somebody.

Seconds later he reached into a pocket of his hiking shorts and withdrew a knife. He quickly flicked the knife open to reveal a long slender blade. I realized he had just pulled a switchblade out.

He began tossing the knife in the air and letting it hit the ground. He bent down each time and picked it up.

He continued to talk about the question of going to hell for killing somebody and the sharpness of his knife.

I started to answer the man about the conversation with his pastor by telling him about one I had with a priest after my return from Vietnam.

I was going to tell him I’d asked the priest if killing in Vietnam would be considered breaking a commandment.

I was going to tell him the priest had answered me to say God wouldn’t hold me responsible for times of war.

I was going to tell him I told the priest I didn’t believe God wouldn’t hold me responsible.

The appearance of the switchblade and the man’s bizarre actions changed the conversation.

I knew I had entered into the presence of evil and a man was talking about killing and if he’d go to hell for killing. And he was brandishing a knife.

I began thinking I might have to kill again.

I began thinking about my wife. He was standing closer to her.

My mind was doing an inventory of what actions I needed to take to protect her and prevent him from killing us.

I asked him why he had a knife out in our presence.

He told me “because I like playing with it”.

He continued to talk about the sharpness of the knife and whether he’d go to hell for killing. He ran the knife blade across his forearm and acted as if he were going to cut his arms with his “sharp” knife.

I told him we needed to get going and moved over closer to my wife.

He suggested he would “hike up with you”.

We told him “no, we’re going down” but he continued asking us to go up with him. He cajoled us we were close to “the end”.

Before I could answer, my wife yelled out in frightened voice, “you need to back away from us; you’re freaking me out with that knife!”

I realized while I was trying to avoid the possible fight, my wife was seeing the evil threat of this man. He frightened her.

I was thinking of harming him if he moved toward her or me. I didn't feel fear. Only evil. I know evil.

The man continued to toss the knife around and stroke it across his forearm without heeding what my wife said.

My wife placed her hiking pole up in the air with the sharp end aimed at the man’s face.

I moved between my wife and the man and put my pole in his face and told him, “You need to get away from us and get up the trail!”

My wife told him he didn’t want to risk his life with me.

Still the man continued talking about his sharp knife and killing.

I knew I had to become aggressive toward him by moving forward with the sharp point of the pole at ready.

I knew I had to watch him for any aggressive move to grab the pole or lunge at me. I thought of the weak points of his body that I would have to strike to disable him.

I thought I might have to kill him to keep him from killing me or my wife.

I moved toward him. Again I yelled he needed to move away from us and go up the trail in the opposite direction. He argued I shouldn’t tell him what to do but he moved.

I angrily told him he needed to talk more with his pastor. He yelled back that I should mind my own business.

My wife started quickly down the trail away from him. I followed behind her turning my head to keep sight of the man.

We scrambled down the trail with continuous looks back to make sure the man didn’t come from behind us to attempt a violent act.

We encountered several groups of hikers and warned each of them of the man and told them of his threatening behaviors. Some continued up but all came back down before we reached the beginning of the trail.

We reported the events to the campground hosts and were given a phone to call the county sheriff.

While waiting for the sheriff to arrive at the remote camp site we found another hiker who had encountered the man.

He told us he felt strange about the man…like he was a “sort of Ted Bundy type”.

The name of Ted Bundy came up in the conversation my wife and I had as we descended the trail. Both of us are psychiatric RN’s and have dealt with psychotic and extremely mentally ill clients.

I’ve had extensive experience dealing with antisocial men and women who have killed. Very few ever frightened me.

This man frightened me in the sense I felt the evil and the possibility he would harm someone. I felt he was a predator. A predator like a Marine hunting down a Viet Cong in a violent war zone.

The presence of evil sometimes remains hidden to us until it’s too late and sometimes it becomes so obvious we can only revert to old habits to protect ourselves.

Sometimes we become the evil. Today I was ready to kill again to protect my wife and myself from evil.

Today, the world’s evil came from behind us on a beautiful and serene mountain trail. It interrupted our spiritual time in the most remote place. It reminded me there is no escape no matter how we try.

And my personal escape from evil reminded me of the daily struggles of others around the world to escape the evil brought down on them because of my government.

How do children escape the evil of the bombs and artillery rounds sent by adults?

While we all sometimes have to face evil in personal ways, we also need to face the evil we allow to happen, we take part in and we don’t care to know about.

Evil like George Bush has brought to our entire world.

Wm. Terry Leichner, RN

USMC combat veteran

VVAW Denver member