Anger

In recent days I’ve had some grave misgivings about the peace and justice community here in Colorado and nation-wide. I’ve seemed to be on a path that was so much in conflict with the one the American peace movement is on I had to take a time out.
I find myself angry we privileged and entitled Americans seem to lack the awareness of urgency called for in ending the carnage in the Middle East.
I find myself angry we materially rich but morally impoverished Americans continue to consume, consume, consume while there are scores of our brothers and sisters in this country struggling to stay alive. We continue to ignore the survivors of Katrina except to throw money toward some charity in hopes someone else will do “the job” for us.
We continue to excuse gun-happy police who shoot first and investigate later.
We continue to overlook the huge numbers of young men of color who are imprisoned in our country. Many are there only because they lack resources to access “justice” and to access services that could prevent problems like addiction and joblessness.
We continue to label brothers and sisters who cross borders as illegals but ignore the corrupt and morally offensive actions of our government in regions of the world devastated by poverty and wars.
I find myself angry the veterans of Vietnam and other wars before the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have sometimes co-opted the voices of the younger veterans now returned or returning from a combat zone. Veteran leadership continues to dismiss or minimize the voices of the young.
I find myself angry the “movement” continues to use an organizational system that creates hierarchy and inhibits creativity of the quieter brothers and sisters. The same leadership style of the American government seems to be the rule of the day in peace and justice movements.
We create media “stars” and prostitute ourselves to the mainstream media to be heard. The mainstream media continues to skew the message to benefit the corrupted power-brokers.
I find myself angry we have some activists who can only see one side of the story when it comes to the wars. I have great compassion for the innocent of Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Palestine and all the other regions American foreign policy has inflicted death and destruction.
As a combat veteran, however, I have to strongly advocate for the young men and women used as pawns in the American military by evil and corrupt leaders. Most of these men and women have entered the military with “good” intentions. They wanted to serve their country. They wanted to serve their families. They wanted to better themselves.
The American military is the last resort for many to do any of this.
Universities and colleges have closed the doors to this group of men and women unless they can pay the bill. Menial jobs and a guaranteed life of poverty is the other option for many of the soldiers, Marines, sailors and airmen and women.
I have friends with great compassion toward the civilians killed and harmed in these wars. I rejoice they understand that need to care about this horrible crime against humanity. The same friends, however, have expressed an attitude of contempt and animus toward the troops being used and duped by the American government.
I’ve heard things like “they deserve what they get” or suggestions these young people should go to jail rather than go to Iraq or Afghanistan.
How easy it is to judge these young men and women! We can easily tell someone to go to jail but unless we’d be willing to do the same time, where do we get off with such statements? How many of the activists would have been willing to spend time in jail when in their twenties or early thirties?
It’s easy to say they deserve what they get. Like dying. Or losing limbs. Or having minds scarred forever. How compassionate and humane such a statement seems. We pick and choose which humans to care about in this travesty.
Followers of Christ, Buddha, Islam and all other spiritual realms should know better but they have made such statements.
If we want to lay blame on the troops sent to die and kill then we need to accept a good deal of the blame ourselves. These are our children, our brothers and sisters, our wives and husbands, fathers and mothers…..they are citizens of American life.
Why haven’t we stopped the young people of our nation from viewing violence and horrible images starting from the time they begin to walk?
Why haven’t we intervened with our babies and children in the playing of realistic and violent games?
Why have we continued to live in a culture of violence and hatred without intervention?
The men and women killing and being killed are products of our social structure. They learned violence from the culture they grew up with.
This is where the peace and justice folks typically say they didn’t go along with the violence. They aren’t responsible for the atrocities.
With few exceptions, I say they are responsible just like all the rest of us. Most have participated in the capitalistic system since birth and have refused to sacrifice a lifestyle of comfort and luxury.
Most have yards they spend great sums of money to keep green. Most drive alone rather than use public transportation. Most spend money at huge grocery chains and department stores rather than use collectives that are local. Most buy electronic equipment they have no real need to have but it entertains them.
I say if we fit in any of these situations we’re part of the problem. And I include myself.
I find myself angry with judgmental and selectively caring activists who fail to recognize the troops as victims of a system we’re all complicit in sustaining. As humans, we should have enough compassion to include these brothers and sisters in our hearts along with the innocent civilians of the nations devastated by our wars.
Anger is something most people abhor and try to avoid. Anger is dangerous and negative in the minds of most peace activists.
There are few humans like Gandhi and Thich Nhat Hanh able to reach a state of mind where anger is absent. We’re fond of reading the texts of these philosophers and spiritual men and women and holding everybody up to their standards.  
I recently had someone suggest I should read Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha after he read my description of a rather disturbed man menacing my wife and me on a hiking trail with a knife. (Visions of Peace: A Combat Vet's Dream –The Presence of Evil.)
Well, I’ve read all of Herman Hesse, much of Thich and Gandhi and several others in my life. I aspire to have the control they talk about but I have the insight to know I’m not at that stage.
My description of the evil I felt was the internal struggle I went through to not give in to the violent thinking. I encountered a dangerous man who threatened my wife and didn’t kill him. I may have threatened him but the impulse to kill was controlled.
I don’t think Gandhi had much to do with the restraint I had that day. I think the experience of being in combat and killing another human was the key to resisting violent urges.
Losing our humanity in combat makes it difficult to get back to caring and compassion. Having peace activists condemn the individuals in the military who face difficult life choices makes the return to humanity even more difficult.
My personal reaction to individuals making such comments is one of sadness and anger. I take it personally. I participated in the violence of combat and I went to jail when I started resisting against the military. Unless you face the possibility of jail, you don’t know the difficulty these young people face.
For the older and mature activist it’s an easy choice. Our failure to remember the ages of those called upon to be in combat is a failure to understand the moral and ethical dilemma our young people are facing.
Condemnation of a choice to “honor” a commitment to a contract and the people the troops care about is an act of violence toward an already traumatized group of people. I believe we need to give our love and support to the veterans who return with the memories of horror.
I don’t believe in calling the troops heroes as some may do. I don’t believe in saying the service was honorable in an illegal war. I just believe we need to help the troops heal and hopefully their voices will join in the cause of peace.
Anger is part of life. We have to deal with it. We let it control us or we control it. We can use it as a force to fuel our actions for the cause of peace.
If we don’t get angry at the sight of children killed by bombs of an unseen plane, we have failed. If we don’t get angry at the youth of America being used as cannon fodder by a government of elite and wealth we’ve failed.
End of rant.
Wm. Terry Leichner, RN
VVAW – Denver
0311 – USMC “grunt”