Friday, November 11

Veterans Day 11-11-11 (Rembembrance Day)

I saw this thing on the History Channel yesterday about the Vietnam War. It said in WWII the combat veteran was in actual combat an average of 10 days a year. The combat veteran in Vietnam was in actual combat an average of 240 days a year.

During "my war" over 58,000 Americans were killed. It's estimated nearly 3 million Vietnamese were killed. In Cambodia millions more were killed during the genocide brought on by the Nixon/Kissinger cabal involving Cambodia in our nasty and immoral occupation in SE Asia. Kissinger still has credibility in our national political arena. He was very much involved with the Bush/Cheney cabal that is responsible for millions dying in Iraq and Afghanistan.

It's fascinating to sit down forty three years later and watch the footage of the war in Vietnam in HD. Especially after experiencing it in real time....would that be 3D, 4D...not sure. Somehow I couldn't keep from watching as footage of the Tet Offensive of 1968 came on the screen. The battle for Hue especially since that was one of my stopping points during my 13 month Marine Corps "tour". I could never understand how they could describe participation in war as a tour. I think I got the wrong travel agent.

I hate the holiday of Veterans Day. I hate the opportunity so many take to celebrate and glorify American militarism. Even the local Occupy Denver group made some statement about honoring the "fallen heroes" and all of us who "sacrificed" for our nation. I hate people thanking me for being a veteran of my immoral war. I hate other veterans saying "welcome home" forty two years after I came home.....the person I was and could have been never came home.

I don't need the History Channel to show me HD footage of the war. I have that on a regular basis running around in my head. It's the movie clip that never ends. And, for some reason..insane as it sounds.....I don't want it to end. I don't want to forget the waste of lives I witnessed and took part in. I don't want to forget the many names I found on the Vietnam Memorial...."The Wall", on a cold January day.

In 1970 after a two year battle with the USMC to get discharged and after I flipped off the MPs at the Camp Pendleton gate as I left for the last time, I made a promise I would never forget or forgive what this nation did in Vietnam. I promised my brothers of India Company, 3rd Batallion, Fith Marines who died during the entire year of 1968 I was in Vietnam I wouldn't forget them.

In 1971, I met Brian Adams and Steve Norris at an anti-war conference here in Denver. Brian was a national organizer for Vietnam Veterans Against the War (VVAW). Steve was a veteran who joined us to organize VVAW in Denver. I've been told there was another version of VVAW before or after the time I organized. But at the time it was just us three. VVAW was the answer to the rage I felt about the war. It allowed me an opportunity to do "something". And 40 years later I'm still trying to do "something".

I don't buy into the fallen hero concept of combat veterans. Just yesterday a combat veteran was sentenced to life in a military prison for his involvement in the murders of Afghan civilians just for the sport of it. It would be easy to say the all voluntary military has brought about the decline of the military and led to such atrocity. But, I saw antisocial Marines in 1968 trying to be the first one to hit an elderly rice farmer working a 100 yards away from where we had stopped for a break.

When I was with the USMC less than one month in Vietnam I witnessed my squad leader tossing a fragmentation grenade into the air vent of an underground shelter occupied by fearful Vietnamese civilians. They wouldn't exit when he attempted to communicate he wanted them out of the shelter. He had ordered me to toss the grenade. I refused. I kept hearing the cries of a baby coming from that shelter. I wouldn't kill a baby.

Less than two weeks later the squad leader was killed by a sniper during an ambush. It was January 30, 1968. The beginning of Tet. I wasn't sad to see the sonofabitch die. I just felt guilty that I had wished him dead. I've never considered him a fallen hero. Never will.

The turning point of my 18 year old life came on January 30-31, 1968. My squad was overrun by a large North Vietnamese Army force trying to escape the trap my Marine company had them in. They were encircled within a village inside a grove of trees. It was during the dark of night. Earlier that day I had been close to a tree line burned down by the tumbling napalm bombs dropped by USMC jets supporting us.

Napalm burns at around 3000 degrees F when it ignites. It takes away the oxygen of the area of detonation. We called the charred bodies of the victims of napalm, "crispy critters". On January 31, 1968, following a night of combat in which I was knocked unconcious by the blast of a Vietnamese concussion grenade, I saw my first "crispy critter".

It was around noon when we entered the village in the grove of trees. The napalm had been dropped on the village. Earlier in the day the surviving members of my squad had the task of collecting bodies of the enemy strewn around a large rice paddy and tall grassy area surrounding it. One Marine decided he would use his survival knife to extract gold fillings and teeth from the dead bodies. We found over 30 bodies. We lined them in a row for the Batallion Commander. He posed with the bodies in the forefront for cameras of Marine combat photographers.

I first smelled the village. It smelled like ham. The napalm had incinerated the pot belly pigs of the villagers. The first thing I saw other than badly burned trees was charred forms of human bodies scattered on the ground of what used to be a village. Most of the village structures were burned to the ground. Nothing had escaped the heat of the napalm.

The first human form I came upon was the size of an infant. It was on the ground next to a form of an adult human. I guessed it was the mother of the infant. Besides the smell it was a grusome and horrific sight. But I couldn't take my eyes off the scene. Every where I looked I saw more forms. More "crispy critters". Some of the Marines laughed and joked about the crispy critters. Some talked about how the napalm had "got some". I wanted to puke but had nothing in my stomach to throw up.

Crispy critters, traumatic amputations, strewn body parts, evaporation of bodies from huge booby traps, short rounds killing us instead of them, water boarding and assassination of prisoners, torture, body mutilation,free fire zones, revenge .....this became my life at age 18 and 19. I didn't stop it. I didn't object. I could do neither and survive Vietnam. I just did my job. I became the squad leader I had hated and wished dead.

I've written this narrative several times, Each time I seem to remember one more detail. I've spoke with high school and college students about the experience of combat. I've given my oral history of war countless times. Each time is an emotional revisiting of those days of combat. I consciously decided to let emotion become part of any presentation I gave about my time in war.

The Marines gave me medals. I was given one for being wounded. I returned to the "world" with high performance and proficiency scores. I had been meritoriously promoted two times. I was a poster boy Marine when I came back. Squared away. Until I started refusing. And saying, "no". They tried retraining me, punishing me, jailing me.

Sargeants, Lieutentants, Captains, Colonels all yelled at me. Chaplains told me I was forgiven for what I had done because it was for my country. Military psychiatrists said I had some readjustment problems but wasn't sick enough for their hospitals. In the end they threatened me with prison at a Naval brig in New Hampshire. My military lawyer sold me out. My ACLU lawyer pressured the USMC and Naval legal service to offer a discharge.

So, there was a happy ending. Not if you ask my grown sons or my wife. Not so happy living with me on many occasions. Bouts of rage, self medicating, depression and suicidal thinking and attempts followed my happy ending. If only they had a diagnosis for whatever it was causing me to behave in such a way. About 12 years after my discharge PTSD was included in the psychiatric community's diagnostic bible, the DSM.

Since 1975 three times as many Vietnam veterans have killed themselves as were killed in action. 58,000 plus KIA. Over 150,000 committed suicide. I wonder how many during the 12 years I mentioned. The divorce rate for Vietnam veterans is 90%. 500,000 Vietnam veterans have been arrested or incarcerated. 100,000 are currently incarcerated and another 200,000 are on parole. 40% of Vietnam veterans are unemployed. 25% earn less than $7,000 a year. Drug and alcohol abuse ranges from 50-75%.

I'm going to a presentation by IVAW tonight. Operation Recovery is a project intended to get the needed help for active duty men and women. Such as stopping commanders from sending troops back to a war zone when the mental health professionals have declared them unfit for duty in a war zone. One of the statistics given me was one active duty troop commits suicide every 36 hours. Nearly 1/3 of the female troops report sexual assault or harassment. Clearly that number is greater because of the military attitude toward women making such a charge.

Don't tell me thank you for your service. I did no service to this nation. I had good intentions but failed to inform and educate myself. Don't welcome me home. Despite my body and much of my mind being back from Vietnam, a large part of me never came home. My mother lost the son she saw go to war despite her warnings. My sister could never be close to me again. If you want to thank veterans on this day set aside to remember....the day used to be called Rembembrance Day......work to end the wars. Work for peace and justice. That's what I thought I went to war for but instead became a tool and thug for the racketeers Smedley Butler talked about.



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Monday, November 7

Zinn-Like Anarchy

For the last month I've been going to the Occupy Denver site to support a cause I think has the potential to change this nation. Unless the thugs and alleged "anarchists" promoting violence and property destruction destroy the movement. There's nothing wrong with anarchists in my opinion. Howard Zinn was an unabashed anarchist. Gandhi was an anarchist. Emma Goldman was an anarchist. At one time she promoted the use of violence but came to discover it diluted the movement and the cause of dismantling oppressive governments.

For the past month I've seen folks running around with handkerchiefs covering their faces apparently to identify themselves as anarchists. It is the dress code as much as we veterans wear our old fatigues or dress uniforms, campaign ribbons, boonie hats or some identifying thing.

It's obvious the anarchists don't like the tactics and much of the philosophy of the main Occupy Denver group. They make it clear by talking over the main group's megaphone and "people's mike" with their own megaphones. It has become a inane battle of megaphones at every gathering of more than a few dozen people.

Now I am as radical as they come in my thinking about tactics. At heart I'm an anarchist. I don't believe in national borders, don't think there's such a concept as an "illegal" person. I know the government isn't one for me or most of the people I am acquainted with. It has always been a government to protect the oligarchs in possession of the greatest wealth.

I came to realize I was duped as an enlisted Marine in 1967. And, unlike Smedley Butler, it didn't take me 30 plus years to come to the conclusion the military was nothing but a group of thugs trained to become sociopathic tools to destroy anybody or anything blocking the will of the racketeers in government and their rich masters. It took me the first month (January) I was in Vietnam in 1968 as an 18 year old combat infantryman.

I may have been stupid enough to enlist but I wasn't so stupid I couldn't see we were nothing but bullies with lethal force against the Vietnamese people. But rather than go to prison, I went along and did my job. My job was to seek out any and all individuals considered the enemy of the US or my platoon. And I became proficient in carrying out my job when it became necessary to protect myself or the men in my platoon.
On return to the US my emotional health and the shock of my 13 month experience in Vietnam led me to start my own personal resistance against the USMC. I walked away time and again despite all the medals, commendations and rank I had "earned" while in Vietnam. Eventually I was imprisoned in a Marine brig, a city jail and in a Marine correctional platoon. On one occasion the brig pod I was incarcerated in was gassed because of an uprising by some of us combat veterans. None of the punishments or threats had an impact on my resistance. I came to realize I was acting out my conscience.

Finally the Corps got tired of my shit and offered me a less than honorable discharge. Their threatened court martial wouldn't have looked too good once my ACLU attorney let some of his newspaper friends know the Corps intended on jailing one of their heroes with meritorious promotions and medals only heroes earned. One that had been wounded in action. I accepted the undesirable discharge with pleasure and actually felt it an honor to be considered undesirable to the USMC.

Once discharged I happened upon a national organizer of Vietnam Veterans Against the War. He and I, joined by one other veteran, organized the Denver chapter. We sent a contingent to Operation Dewey Canyon III in DC. We threw our ill gotten medals over the fence at the Capitol. Later we had our own Winter Soldier's Investigation in Denver that followed the format of the national investigation in Detroit. We testified about war crimes and corrupt practices of the military we had witnessed.

A few of our local members were also members of the Black Panthers. We were constantly on J. Edgar Hoover's radar as being anti-American "communists". Local police and FBI constantly tried to infiltrate us and provoke us to act out violently. The problem with this tactic was the true veterans of combat were tired of violence. Our organization existed to stop violence, end the war and bring our brothers home. At one point the DPD intimidated a WSI witness by threatening to revoke his probation. He had been self medicating with drugs and ended up being arrested and tried for a felony.

Even in therapy groups infiltrators appeared. It sounds crazy but that was the case in my first Vet Center group. It took us a few weeks before we realized one of the group was an impostor. It destroyed the group.

I'm presenting this history as a way of giving myself some credibility to speak out about what I've observed at Occupy Denver. In today's social media, haters and flamers will usually come out of the woodworks if someone provides criticism about a movement or progressive organization. I don't really care if anybody chooses to hate me and attempts to discredit me. I do care about changing this world so my grandsons and granddaughter have a better life than is now projected for them.

Occupy Denver has good intentions from all sides but the rudeness and infighting that seems to be worse everytime I come to support the movement is palpable. And disturbing. And I'm not the only one feeling this. This past Saturday at the Fed the megaphone duel sent many mainstream supporters on their way.

The constant tactic of march and rally has diminishing returns. Most people have heard enough, read enough and experienced enough to know the issues. Teach-in time is over. It is now time to act on what is said to be common goals and beliefs. A next step is necessary.

Many of us veterans have experience in guerilla or insurgency warfare. There is a good deal to be learned from the tactics used against us. But non-violence has to be maintained. Centralized grouping may be good show but mobility has some advantages. Weekends are convenient but inconvenience can be inflicted on weekdays as well. Cooperation with cops and authorities about tactics and planning is poor strategy and lets the oppressive force of the government and their corporate masters dictate what will be done.

We are in a class warfare! The 99% needs to discover its power and exert it wisely and with tactics that are different than what was done in the past. Every revolutionary movement for change has to live in the present. The tactics of the past are well known to the guardians of the corporate and governmental castles.

We are in a class war and we had better be prepared for pushback. The opponents we face are well financed, influential and control much of our lives. They aren't stupid. We can rail against the rich and powerful and fail to give them credit or try to understand them and work to weaken their strength. There's plenty of opportunity to point out what the big "they" do, but isn't it time to uncover who they are and expose each individual?

As an individual I've had a history of being part of an illegal and immoral occupation. This is the time for a moral occupation by the 99% who don't have the security of that 1%. The moral occupation can't allow itself to regress to the violence the masters of war and greed want from us. We can strike fear in the hearts and minds of the 1% by growing the movement and keeping violence out of the equation. Anarchy can be useful and necessary but those who propose violence of actions or words will weaken the movement. It's that simple. You want to be isolated again, keep up the violence.

Tuesday, November 1

Solidarity or Failure

So now the Occupy Denver movement is for real. The sniping, infighting and division about tactics are reaching the mainstream press and like vultures they swoop down to show all the dysfunctional parts of the movement. Some say we should "fight back" with self defense classes and aggressive actions towards the police. Heard a mention of a gun being needed.

Thing about the movements that have succeeded is there wasn't instant gratification even as much as it was needed and desired. Believe me, as a former grunt, it takes all the self restraint I can muster not to go violent. But the question is....how would that help the big picture of the movement? What perception will a full scale riot create in bringing more everyday people or people from communities of color into the movement? Don't we have enough of our brothers and sisters serving time in prisons as it is?

As much as I hate the slow pace of things in bringing about revolutionary changes, an assualt or aggressive action toward police will end up with activists dead. We know the propensity of DPD for violence. We know they don't care if they kill someone they consider a "scumbag". And we know they seldom, if ever, face legal prosecution for their brutality. Is this what we want to go toe to toe with by demonstrating our self defense tactics?

I have differences of opinion toward the tactics being used. I'd prefer more proactive and creative tactics as opposed to the constant march and rally cycle. And maybe there can be both? Discussing tactics on social media isn't something I'd do but questioning whether there are some alternative methods seems appropriate.

It is discouraging to read and hear individuals deciding they think the Occupy Denver movement is bullshit simply because there's not a consensus to carry out a tactic preferred by one group or another. Solidarity dissipates quickly when the conflict becomes internally focused instead of focused on the true oppressors.

I'm 62 and been in many different actions and movements. Inevitably differences boil over and factions from one extreme to the other start appearing. I've marched with combat veterans and been gassed. Been arrested for opposing the war while active duty. Been arrested as a civilian. I've been proud to hook up with peace activists who have dedicated themselves to the grueling work of trying to create change. I love the energy and passion of young people from colleges to anarchists to hip-hop nation. And us old geezers need to start listening more to your concerns. It's your future at stake.

I have history of being in a diverse movement that included Catholic nuns and priests and members of the Black Panthers and Brown Berets of the LaRaza movement. It was a coalition that somehow gelled for a while. Then infiltrators and internal disputes disrupted the solidarity.

As dedicated activists we have to get used to the reality of police infiltrators and agitators. In today's world we will have to beware of agitators from the right wing such as the Tea Party and even more radical fanatics. We have to beware of drunks and felons who are not willing or able to control their propensity for violence. And there will be felons and homeless who will be indispensable in the knowledge they can bring to the movement.

The movement is reaching the point where it can either move forward with a more inclusive culture or it will fall apart from the irreconciable differences. That will be a shame but it is a real possibility. I've deliberately refrained from being part of any leadership group or spokesperson. My time has passed. Now I just want to be with the movement in solidarity and support. I don't mind facing off the police if that's a logical and needed thing to do. But if the movement is full of individuals unable to resolve differences without splinter groups working against each other, it will be difficult to support.

I am one of many veterans and older Americans fed up with what's gone down in our nation. We want change. We seek a movement that can have differences but keep the goals as the priority. Some of us will walk away if violence is a routine occurrence. And all the hotheads can say good riddance if they choose. But believe me when I say this movement will not succeed if families, older Americans, middle class Americans, people of color and a wide range of diverse beliefs aren't included.

Believe me, I have great anger toward this system that has destroyed so very much. I have moments of rage beyond anything most people can have. But in the final analysis, I realize I'm nothing without a large group of dedicated people to work with. I hope that's what happens with Occupy Denver