Apparently we have mass killing, mass shooting, daily shooting fatigue. We pass each day with some violence perpetrated by someone carrying a gun or semi-automatic/converted to automatic assault rifle. Yeah guns and rifles don't kill people. People do.
So, why is it the violence from weapons we so cherish in our constitution only at an epidemic level in this nation? Why does no other nation come anywhere near the death rate of this nation from the use the weapons we so cherish and are willing to literally fight for?
We witness the same ritual almost weekly. A shooter enters a safe haven, kills multiple innocent victims and either kills himself or is quickly arrested with a cache of weapons and ammunition.
Immediately newsrooms around the nation jump on the story with interviews of first responders, victims that survive and family and friends of victims and perpetrator. A shrine of flowers, teddy bears and other well intentioned items build at the site as a memorial.
At times it feels like some of those who gather to honor the victims try to insert themselves into the narrative rather than respect quietly the humans who have lost lives or been horribly traumatized. And the press covering the story is so rabidly in competition with one another to get a new angle they allow a ghoulish scene to happen.
Night after night the press continues with the story of the tragedy. Politicians typically give vapid and cliched quotes of thoughts and prayers for the victims. Pressed into questions about the availability of assault rifles and the frequency of mass killings, politicians will say, "now is not the time".
Inevitably the next mass killing occurs, leaving the previous one behind as old news. The circle of violence and public response continues like an uncontrolled merry-go-round of hate, anger, disaffection and ignored etiology.
The NRA and its apologists cry out about mental illness causing the slaughter. They tell us if we arm our teachers and ourselves we will be safer. Maybe one of the many free carry gun owners will take out a potential killer. And, maybe they will get into a fire fight and kill innocent bystanders.
The easy access to weapons has been left out of the reasons for mass killing. The streets of America are glutted with guns and rifles to kill other humans. Anyone suggesting a restriction of guns and rifles are quickly shouted down. There are so many weapons in the hands of people who are a danger to others it would take at least a generation of gun control before our culture of violence shows signs of slowing down.

There are some common threads to the mass shootings besides the possession of firearms. The motivation of a shooter that is usually male often turns out to be founded in hate and disaffection, Hate being normalized by politicians and religious zealots have unintended and intended consequences. 

The recent shooting at a LGBTQ nightclub exemplifies what can happen when the seeds of hate are used by the politician and zealot. Fake and jaded leaders tell us what they think appropriate and encourage shaming and assault of those who don't get in line.

Churches telling their congregations and school officials to bar men and women who may love one another 

Pam and I are in the grips of a refresher course in grief and mourning. Our son, Isaac, died of an overdose on September 19th but we weren't informed of his death until October 15th. It wasn't a shocking development. He had a long struggle with addiction that he was unable to control. But, it was a shock to our spirits, a punch to our thinking process. 

We went through the motions required when one makes arrangements for their dead 47 year old son. It sapped our strength. Just a week before we heard of his death we had hiked for six straight day in the Telluride area. Our hikes were difficult and we persisted to reach our goals. So, we had strength, even at our ages. But hearing he had died was a physical and emotional train wreck. 

We pushed on and gained a small amount of perspective. Managed to talk about good memories of him growing up. We spent years of compartmentalizing our dread. We couldn't allow his addiction's destruction of his mind and body to overwhelm us. 

Being a combat vet during a tour with the USMC in 1968, I had an ingrained defense mechanism of depersonalization when death came into my life. But it's impossible to think "it don't mean nothing" when it's my kid.

On November 9th, Pam wanted to go visit her older brother south of the Pueblo area. He was about to have an 80th birthday but he had prostate cancer and it had spread throughout his body. He had just recently entered into home hospice visits.

Don was frail, cachexic and needed assistance to move to the bathroom or bedroom. He had an oxygen cannula in his nostrils.