I Shall Not Be Swayed

I Shall Not Be Swayed
RE: Yesterday's chant remarks on my part. I've been told the post I responded to was an errant post. I was assured there was no malice or provocation intended to continue the heated discussions about the rally, chant sheets, videos, attempts to have people tone things down and many others I'm probably forgetting.
I don't believe there was malice intended. I didn't at the time. I did think there might be an attempt to show chant sheets were previously used but since the explanation of the errant posting I stand corrected and apologize.
I made my response from my email and not the discuss room so if there were other posts retracting the errant posting, I didn't receive it. That's on me for not getting clarification.
I've also been told I've been targeting an individual or individuals with my initial commentary called Imagine That and subsequent responses. I'm sorry if there are those feeling that way but it's definitely not true.
I've been targeting a concept of being told what to say, how to say it or how not to say it. I've been targeting an issue that carries a charged connotation to it...racism and oppression.
These are issues the American people are uncomfortable about discussing. They should be uncomfortable because as my good friend, Larry Hales, said in his remarkable post the other day we're all culpable just by living in this country.
I thought very carefully before I wrote Imagine That and knew it would provoke strong feelings. I wanted it to evoke feelings. I just never realized a commentary starting with the precept of imagining the oppression families and individuals in Iraq or any other place in the world under seige would result in what it's become.
I deliberately kept the issue going with responses arguing points I believed in very much. I used sarcasm, parody, tongue-in-cheek and anger in my writing. I tried humor.
In the process, I've seen some very thoughtful remarks, good arguments and passionate emotion. The person I credit triggering all this for me is someone I feel great respect for. She and I have spoken and can understand each other's position. So we are at peace.
Unfortunately, I've been accused of a personal vendetta. I've had my values questioned. I've had my health questioned. And that's ok because I know what's in my heart and there hasn't been malice or personal attack there.
I've answered some personal questions about my remarks with the same passion I try to do with all my writing. I've made efforts to keep personal remarks out of the room and talk to people on private email. I made the remark anything I wrote was my opinion.
For some individuals there was nothing I could say that wasn't considered personal attack. I've reread every correspondence I had since last Tuesday and I'm ok with what I've written being intended as debate and argument. I can see where others may think I'm targeting them since it was their post I may have been answering.
I'm definitely open to any feedback of others and invite you to email me or post it. If you email me you're welcome to be as personal as you want. I'd prefer it be on a one to one. Comments in the room becoming personally attacking seem out of place.
The process of free speech isn't always pretty. It can get ugly and messy. It can be upsetting and disturbing. It can provoke anger, hate and sadness. It can cause new awareness and new perspectives. It can destroy friendships and build new ones.
We all want to be right but none of us is always right. None of us always wrong..except George...well he likes dogs. I have to give him that. I'm admittedly a smart ass, a skeptic, angry, bull-headed and several other adjectives not all that complimentary.
I believe I'm right and if you'd all listen the world would be a better place but you all give me so many arguments to the contrary. Good arguments that prove to be true more often than not.
I've tried to respect others in this coalition whether I agreed or not with their views. It seems for some that doesn't come across. Disagreement is uncomfortable and alliance seems to mean we can't disagree at times.
There are some points I don't have compromise in my heart for. It's become clearer to me censorship, pandering to the press and attempting to control thinking of others are among those points.
I think of ways to control free speech and find one is very insidious.Write something controversial and see what happens. Be provocative in writing and see the response. Suggest we are part of the problem even as we work not to be and see what happens.
It becomes time consuming to argue your point. It becomes discouraging to hear things about yourself you know to be untrue. It becomes disillusioning to try writing from your heart to only be told you're hostile and too angry.
Good and well intentioned friends have told me I shouldn't be so angry. Others have tried to tell me what I should really write about that would be of more help to the movement.
I tend to be a person who wants to please. It feels good to make everybody happy with what I do. I just won't allow that to happen in the one thing I find to be therapeutic and as artistic as I can be.
One reason I started a blog was to test the waters outside the CCJP world. I begin to feel more and more I'm not someone who will adhere to the vision of UPJC or CCJP if it means the types of responses whenever criticism of the group occurs.
The censorship of the group is the ultimate one. We become tired of the struggle to justify our criticism. We lose enthusiasm of being aligned with people unwilling to accept thoughts of others before asking respectful questions or for clarifications. The group becomes a bully for one way of thinking.
Pops Staples sings an old hymn that I've always loved. It's title is "I Shall Not Be Swayed". It's defiant and angry toward those who try to push him away from his beliefs. To those who think you'll shut me up with the bully of group or rejecting friendships as has happened in the past week, go listen to Pops sing that song and think of me when you do.