Volunteers of America Needed - Junk Mail Revolt!!

The following is a response to George Bush's declaration of Presidential "right" to open the mail of American citizens for reason of "national security".


I've decided to volunteer all the mail I get most for our beloved Dubya to review to make sure America's homeland is secure.

I average about 4-5 pieces of mail each day known as "junk mail" which I consider a threat to American security.

Not only does it irritate and create waste, junk mail solicits the obscene use of credit cards and consumerism that has caused a world-wide perception of Americans being crass and spoiled.

Since it's pretty well established Americans consume 1/4 of the world's natural resources despite being a population much less than 1/4th, the perception and resentment is well founded.


We as patriotic Americans truly need to look upon this junk mail
epidemic as a threat to our national security. Why you ask?

Well surely the resentment created by the constant encouragement of consumerism has resulted in making it much easier to recruit young and old throughout the world as terrorists.

Given this scenario, it just seemed logical if the Bush administration
feels they have the right to open mail in the name of homeland security they should start with our junk mail.

Tracing the persons or organizations creating this particular threat should be easy enough that even a dumb ass like Dubya can figure out who's responsible.

After the resolution of the junk mail threat I suggest we ask Bush to declare his right to monitor our prayers by making it mandatory to pray out loud.

Once this right is established, the prayers of those asking God or Allah or Buddha or Tom Cruise's god to strike Dubya and his crew with impeachment or the most terrible punishments possible can be determined.

Those praying such things would then be incarcerated at Guantanamo or a local McDonalds for as long as it takes to rehabilitate them. Or until their arteries are occluded enough to trigger a cardiovascular event resulting in brain damage.

Those rendered significantly brain damaged will then be asked to join the administration as cabinet members, TSA agents, Homeland security officers or FEMA workers.

Most sincerely and in the name of all patriotic Americans,

W.Terry Leichner