The Clock is Ticking

Sadness fills my heart as I just learned three of my veteran friends passed. One died over three years ago and I was unaware. The other two died last year and I was unaware. Time got by me. I let the relationships wither and never got to say the words I should have said to dear friends. We struggled together to end wars. Not just Nam but the following wars since. Until the toxic, vile narcissist came. Then, I think I lost hope and let my ties with my old vet friends go. I tired of the endless and fruitless fight to end the senseless killing men seem to relish. And I do stress the word, men. Because it is almost always men who continue to engage the young people in the killing fields of war. Men, who can't harness aggression and testosterone that war is steeped in. 

Now, I am alone except for my wife and a distant son and grandkids. I'm isolated by my own choice and those who once felt the comradery for me are gone. I let them go. I am now inside my own head and dislike myself. I live in a world of crap television watching, crap sports watching, crap food binging and crap relationships with people. 

I've lost my discipline. I've lost motivation. I've lost hope. The world is on the brink of extinction. Humans have chosen to allow leaders without morality to dictate their demise. The tipping point of environmental extinction has been passed and we're on the clock that is about to stop. Wars and corruption thrive. Humans do not. 

And maybe, just maybe things like losing touch with old friends, brothers in arms are part of the reason why. Maybe a large part.