I'm old enough to remember the same debate about the death penalty going on in the early 60's that's going on today. We never learn! I was in the 6th grade and knew in my heart killing another human in the name of justice was not justice; it was revenge. I knew at age 12 killing another human "officially" was still murder.
I remember when the Supreme Court ruled the death penalty was unconstitutional. I was overjoyed that finally our government got something right. How naive and stupid I was about the concept of justice. I was taught the rulings of the Supreme Court were the final word in law. The things they teach in public schools!
Now it's clear. The Supreme Court is a tool like all the rest of the tools of our government. Thank you Howard Zinn for truly teaching me American history.
I am old enough to remember in those same early 60's the "negroes" in the South were rebelling against Jim Crow. I wondered who the hell Jim Crow was. Then I watched Bull Connor and his goon squad unleash the dogs and fire hoses and I knew. I saw George Wallace block the doors of the University of Alabama. I saw the Freedom Riders getting beaten and bashed in the press. I saw MLK leading marches and boycotts. I saw the bombing of a "negro" church killing children. I saw Medgar Evans being assassinated. And I knew who Jim Crow was.
I've lived long enough to know that the old blues song BLACK, BROWN & WHITE Big Bill Broonzy sang rings as true today as it did back in the days of American apartheid. "If you're black, brother, get back, get back, get back". Or do we fool ourselves into believing the hatred directed toward Obama is simply about his "socialist" agenda? That's why they've had to double or even triple his Secret Service protection. That's why old white rednecks think it's perfectly acceptable to carry around stuffed monkeys with a name placard of Obama on them while waiting to get in to a campaign rally. That's why the good old boy club in Congress has successfully obstructed anything and everything Obama attempted to achieve.
And the thing is, I am not a fan of Obama. I can't understand why the right wing would be upset with him. He's done everything possible to appease the right wing agenda at the expense of the liberal and progressive agenda. He's sold us out....all of us.
Last night at 11:08 p.m. EST in Georgia proved conclusively Obama, Congress and the Supreme Court don't give a damn about justice or ending violence. They all put their own personal stamps of approval on American barbarism by sitting on their hands as Troy Davis was executed by the government of the state of Georgia. They allowed Snookie Williams to die.They will allow Mumia Abu Jamal to eventually die.
In the case of Troy Davis it became clear for all to see the police, prosecutor and judicial system conspired to exact quick revenge for the death of a white cop by a black man. They cooerced, lied and ignored. They had already decided who they wanted to charge, convict and execute. Even when witnesses began to recant their testimony and it was seen the witnesses were biased by the procedures of the police and prosecutor, Georgia refused to admit they might have made a mistake. They refused to admit they should at least have another trial that was fair and impartial...and based on fact.
The American people are Troy Davis. What happened last night in Georgia personifies the American people. We are a people polarized by race, morality and a sense of justice. The same people who often rant about unborn fetuses are the biggest supporters of exacting revenge through the death penalty. Some Americans clearly see the injustice and racist implementation of justice in this nation whether it be the sentencing practices of judges for drug offenses or murder cases. Others feel "those" people are the trouble-makers, the illegals, the offenders.
The case of Troy Davis is further evidence of our failing humanity. From the hunger we allow in impoverished neighborhoods to the wars we allow the sons and daughters of the poor and middle class to die in, Americans have demonstrated time and again we are a culture of violence. We can label ourselves Christian or Judeo-Christian but we are neither. Nor are we true followers of Buddhism, Islam, Mormonism or any other religious cult extolling true justice, true love for one another and true brotherhood. We continue to fall prey to our barbarism. We have crowds calling for the death of a man without insurance in a debate of Presidential candidates one week. And the following week we execute Troy Davis and a white supremacist on the same day. How ironic. Almost like the macabre scenario of both executions on the same day was intended.
The racists will have the perfect answer to those complaining about the death of Davis. Well they also executed the white guy, Lawrence Russell Brewer. White supremacist, Russell Brewer, killed a black man by chaining him to the back of a pickup and dragging him along a backwoods asphalt road in Texas. If we are against the death penalty then we must also say the state sanctioned death of Brewer was also an act of barbaric terrorism. But, there was little doubt in the case of Brewer's guilt while there was great doubt in the Troy Davis case.
When I was young, those opposed to the death penalty used to say all executions should be televised to show Americans the barbarism. Today, I don't think most Americans would give a damn. That's how far down the well of violence and barbarism we've fallen.
Thursday, September 22
Monday, September 19
Damn Right There's Class Warfare!!
Class warfare? Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell would have us believe there's not class warfare in this nation? Are you f'ing kidding me?
These are people we allow to be in Congress. People who think we are so stupid that we don't realize there's been class warfare going on from the first day this country became one nation, under God, indivisible.....blah, blah, blah.
And today there is so much blatant class warfare we've come to accept it, allow it and ignore it. But let's look at the ledger for just a few examples of the class warfare that's happening.
First, the average worker makes 300 plus times less than the average CEO of a multinational corporation based in the U.S.
The gap between the richest 1% who hold over 50% of the wealth has continued to grow even wider with record profits for their corporations while the average worker hasn't had enough in raises to even keep up with the yearly cost of living increases. Wealth gap has blatantly widened in the last 20 years.
If there is no class warfare, why is it the middle class, lower middle class and poor who predominately fight the blood for oil wars of the rich bastards making all the profits from the wars? Why has that been the case in every war this nation has ever been involved in? Why has war been so very profitable to the rich and so disastrous for all other classes of humans? That is class warfare at its very penultimate.
Then let us look at the communities of color in our nation to determine how they're doing. Why are a greater percentage of blacks, Latinos and ethnic groups of color imprisoned than the communities of European descent? Why do people of color have a jobless rate two to three times higher than any other group?
Why have American corporations been allowed to pay little or no taxes consistently while more and more good paying jobs are allowed to be shipped overseas to nations free of collective bargaining and under control of slave masters posing as businessmen. Why does Wal-Mart, the great "American" company, have its biggest distribution center in China, a nation run by a communist dictatorship? Why has the American garment industry died because China's government (and other off-shore nations) allows its industry to pay far less than any other competitor? The corporations utilizing the slave labor camps aren't Chinese or some other nation's. They're American corporations getting tax breaks while they destroy the American workforce.
Why do women in the American workforce still make less than 80 cents on the dollar compared to men when they are capable of doing and doing the same work as men?
Why does the typical American town or city have to fire teachers, firemen and cops when the wealthy are able to send their children to private schools, hire private cops and have priority on fire-fighting for their properties?
Why are parks closing? Why are bridges crumbling? Why are streets in disrepair?
Why do rich Americans get the finest medical care in the world with special suites in hospitals while 45 million or more Americans have no medical care or benefits? Why does the American Congress, President and Judicial branch of government all have great health benefits but all American do not have the same? Why does the family farm get squeezed out while the corporate farm takes over the food supply?
The disparities of the haves and have-nots are so obvious they've been taken for granted but, please, don't take us for stupid that we don't intuitively and objectively know there are not only gaps but huge chasms of disparities in this nation based on class. Don't take us for stupid that we don't know the rich are paying less and less of their fair share to keep this nation's basic services going while they reap bigger and bigger benefits of wealth from this nation. Don't think we're stupid that we don't know the banks and Wall Street have come out of the financial crisis even stronger and wealthier while working people keep falling further behind, keep losing jobs and keep losing health benefits.
Class warfare isn't about the rich finally having to pay a greater share to maintain this nation's daily functioning and support the future, Mr. Ryan and McConnell. Class warfare is letting lobbyists from the nation's biggest corporations determine the governance of the country instead of the people. Class warfare isn't about the poor on welfare draining the wealth from this nation in so-called entitlements. Class warfare is about the entitled rich draining the wealth of this nation through "corporate welfare" which allows the rich to pay little or nothing in taxes. And don't try the lame excuse that taxing the corporations and the rich will be harmful to those who provide jobs. If that were the case, where are the jobs in this nation when corporations and the rich have had the highest growth of income in history?
Class warfare? You're damn right there's class warfare. Class warfare is the attack on the postal carriers union and all other unions that might elevate the wages of all workers. Class warfare is attacks by right wing governors on teachers unions and unions for police and fire-fighters. Class warfare is sabotage and threats from companies like Wal-Mart and others against any employees attempting to bring collective bargaining to the workplace. Class warfare is lowering safety standards on oil derricks near New Orleans resulting in the desecration of the wetlands and wildlife of the area and the destruction of the fishing and shrimping industries. Class warfare is weakening safety standards for coal miners in West Virginia and having miners die underground and above ground from the toxic fumes and substances they must endure.
We are not stupid, Mr.Ryan and Mr. McConnell. At least not all of us. Not all of us will do your bidding like those who are stuck on the talking points created by the Karl Roves of the world. Not all of us are sheep like the members of a group claiming to be about the constitution but failing to include ALL the constitution in their thinking. Yes, we are in class warfare. One which was started by the ideologues of the most rich and powerful to destroy the middle class and make all Americans subservient to the company logo.
How dare you try to come across as the victims of class warfare!
These are people we allow to be in Congress. People who think we are so stupid that we don't realize there's been class warfare going on from the first day this country became one nation, under God, indivisible.....blah, blah, blah.
And today there is so much blatant class warfare we've come to accept it, allow it and ignore it. But let's look at the ledger for just a few examples of the class warfare that's happening.
First, the average worker makes 300 plus times less than the average CEO of a multinational corporation based in the U.S.
The gap between the richest 1% who hold over 50% of the wealth has continued to grow even wider with record profits for their corporations while the average worker hasn't had enough in raises to even keep up with the yearly cost of living increases. Wealth gap has blatantly widened in the last 20 years.
If there is no class warfare, why is it the middle class, lower middle class and poor who predominately fight the blood for oil wars of the rich bastards making all the profits from the wars? Why has that been the case in every war this nation has ever been involved in? Why has war been so very profitable to the rich and so disastrous for all other classes of humans? That is class warfare at its very penultimate.
Then let us look at the communities of color in our nation to determine how they're doing. Why are a greater percentage of blacks, Latinos and ethnic groups of color imprisoned than the communities of European descent? Why do people of color have a jobless rate two to three times higher than any other group?
Why have American corporations been allowed to pay little or no taxes consistently while more and more good paying jobs are allowed to be shipped overseas to nations free of collective bargaining and under control of slave masters posing as businessmen. Why does Wal-Mart, the great "American" company, have its biggest distribution center in China, a nation run by a communist dictatorship? Why has the American garment industry died because China's government (and other off-shore nations) allows its industry to pay far less than any other competitor? The corporations utilizing the slave labor camps aren't Chinese or some other nation's. They're American corporations getting tax breaks while they destroy the American workforce.
Why do women in the American workforce still make less than 80 cents on the dollar compared to men when they are capable of doing and doing the same work as men?
Why does the typical American town or city have to fire teachers, firemen and cops when the wealthy are able to send their children to private schools, hire private cops and have priority on fire-fighting for their properties?
Why are parks closing? Why are bridges crumbling? Why are streets in disrepair?
Why do rich Americans get the finest medical care in the world with special suites in hospitals while 45 million or more Americans have no medical care or benefits? Why does the American Congress, President and Judicial branch of government all have great health benefits but all American do not have the same? Why does the family farm get squeezed out while the corporate farm takes over the food supply?
The disparities of the haves and have-nots are so obvious they've been taken for granted but, please, don't take us for stupid that we don't intuitively and objectively know there are not only gaps but huge chasms of disparities in this nation based on class. Don't take us for stupid that we don't know the rich are paying less and less of their fair share to keep this nation's basic services going while they reap bigger and bigger benefits of wealth from this nation. Don't think we're stupid that we don't know the banks and Wall Street have come out of the financial crisis even stronger and wealthier while working people keep falling further behind, keep losing jobs and keep losing health benefits.
Class warfare isn't about the rich finally having to pay a greater share to maintain this nation's daily functioning and support the future, Mr. Ryan and McConnell. Class warfare is letting lobbyists from the nation's biggest corporations determine the governance of the country instead of the people. Class warfare isn't about the poor on welfare draining the wealth from this nation in so-called entitlements. Class warfare is about the entitled rich draining the wealth of this nation through "corporate welfare" which allows the rich to pay little or nothing in taxes. And don't try the lame excuse that taxing the corporations and the rich will be harmful to those who provide jobs. If that were the case, where are the jobs in this nation when corporations and the rich have had the highest growth of income in history?
Class warfare? You're damn right there's class warfare. Class warfare is the attack on the postal carriers union and all other unions that might elevate the wages of all workers. Class warfare is attacks by right wing governors on teachers unions and unions for police and fire-fighters. Class warfare is sabotage and threats from companies like Wal-Mart and others against any employees attempting to bring collective bargaining to the workplace. Class warfare is lowering safety standards on oil derricks near New Orleans resulting in the desecration of the wetlands and wildlife of the area and the destruction of the fishing and shrimping industries. Class warfare is weakening safety standards for coal miners in West Virginia and having miners die underground and above ground from the toxic fumes and substances they must endure.
We are not stupid, Mr.Ryan and Mr. McConnell. At least not all of us. Not all of us will do your bidding like those who are stuck on the talking points created by the Karl Roves of the world. Not all of us are sheep like the members of a group claiming to be about the constitution but failing to include ALL the constitution in their thinking. Yes, we are in class warfare. One which was started by the ideologues of the most rich and powerful to destroy the middle class and make all Americans subservient to the company logo.
How dare you try to come across as the victims of class warfare!
Wednesday, September 7
The Ashes of Hiroshima Cloud the Skies of 9-11
Howard Zinn wrote about the willingness of Americans and the American media to time and again fall prey to the lies of the government when it came to accepting the call to war. He attributed it to two things. Time and place. The dimension of time, Zinn said, was the inability of Americans to have a historical perspective. We fail to remember the lessons of history and continue to repeat the same insane mistakes. The dimension of place Zinn described as the inability of Americans to think outside of nationalistic boundaries. We Americans think everything outside the borders of the US is inferior to our nation. We still hold on to the concept of a "manifest destiny" despite all evidence that demonstrates this type of thinking is toxic.
This is the week leading up to the tenth anniversary of the 9-11 terrorism attack on the World Trade Center's twin towers in 2001. All week we are bombarded by the media hyperbole of that day when over 3,000 Americans died in the worst case of terrorism on American soil. Unless we count the hundred plus years of slavery from the time of the original Constitution until the Civil War's end. And the Jim Crow laws following that until the 1970s.
There is no doubt we should stop and remember that awful day in 2001. No doubt we should reflect on the meaning of such an attack and where it has led us since that day. We should ask the questions if two wars have made us safer or more hated? We should ask the question if giving up basic freedoms for a sense of security that is very transient in nature is the path we should continue. Would the victims and survivors of the attacks have wanted Americans to live in constant fear and forfeit basic freedoms as a result of their sacrifice?
All across the land there will be tributes and commemorations. The Nationalistic Football League will wave large flags and sing the anthem and God Bless America and mention the sacrifices made to honor America by our military heroes.
Like Dave Zirin said in his blog today, there'll be no mention of Pat Tillman. Nor Camilio Mejia, Pablo Paredes, Kelly Dougherty, Garret Reppenhagen, Cindy Sheehan or all the other heroes who have spoke out against the immorality of the wars. All except Cindy served. Cindy lost her son, Casey.
Noam Chomsky wrote an article today that questioned the way we look at 9-11. I haven't read it yet because I want to put my own thoughts down first.
By chance or some karmic force, I picked up John Hershey's book, HIROSHIMA yesterday. It was written days after the nuclear bomb was dropped on the city of Hiroshima in 1945. It's a hidden masterpiece of the true cost of nationalism and terrorism. American terrorism. Howard Zinn wrote about Hiroshima and the sacrosanct history most Americans choose to hold onto. Again, we have to keep in mind the perspective of time and place. In the first blast of the bomb over 100,000 people were killed in minutes. Tens of thousands more died hours and days after the bomb being dropped. The huge majority of the dead were non-combatants. Hiroshima was far from a military target. It was a psychological target. Days later, another bomb was dropped on Nagasaki with the same type of casualties.
The mushroom clouds of Hiroshima and Nagasaki obscure the cloud of the Twin Towers falling on September 11, 2001. But the dead Japanese weren't Americans, they were non-whites and their government was at war with our government. The dead children and families weren't Americans. The bombed Red Cross Hospital John Hershey writes about didn't have American patients. And besides the American government would tell us all the bombs incinerating Hiroshima and Nagasaki saved upwards of a half million American lives. A fallacy but something they'd like us to believe.
The 6000 plus dead American troops and at least one million dead Iraqis obscure the number of dead at "ground zero" of the 9-11 attacks. And there are still no weapons of mass destruction nor any connection to Iraq and the attack on the World Trade Center. The shock and awe of the first wave of attacks on Iraq killed mostly innocent civilians. Thousands of them children. Our democratic reform has been a sham and what has happened is an American occupation leading to sectarian hatred and violence. And increased hatred for Americans in the Muslim world and around the world. What victory have we gained in our vengeance? The same scenario has taken place in Afghanistan. A corrupt regime like the regimes put in power by the American government in Vietnam and Central America has brought only shame to the thought of bringing democracy to that nation.
Of course, the end game was always dictated by big businesses like Halliburton, KBR, Blackwater and the multinational oil companies.
What we have done in the wake of the attack of 9-11 brings only shame to the memory of those who died. From the immoral and illegal wars to the fear mongering, renditions, water boarding torture, profiteering of huge coporations to the waste of American youth and innocent civilians, we have failed to bring honor to the victims of 9-11. We have not protected freedom in their names. We have stripped freedoms promised to all Americans out of fear that is fanned by the rhetoric and hatred of our government and the media acting as the megaphone for our government.
And we speak of terrorism like we are the greatest victims of it. And we fail to acknowledge our terroristic acts in Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Baghdad, Fallujah and Afghanistan.
This Sunday I won't watch the hypocrisy of the NFL waving the flags of militarism in phony honor of those who have served and paid the ultimate sacrifice. Not when their jingoism blinds them to all the victims of terror by all the masters of war.
This is the week leading up to the tenth anniversary of the 9-11 terrorism attack on the World Trade Center's twin towers in 2001. All week we are bombarded by the media hyperbole of that day when over 3,000 Americans died in the worst case of terrorism on American soil. Unless we count the hundred plus years of slavery from the time of the original Constitution until the Civil War's end. And the Jim Crow laws following that until the 1970s.
There is no doubt we should stop and remember that awful day in 2001. No doubt we should reflect on the meaning of such an attack and where it has led us since that day. We should ask the questions if two wars have made us safer or more hated? We should ask the question if giving up basic freedoms for a sense of security that is very transient in nature is the path we should continue. Would the victims and survivors of the attacks have wanted Americans to live in constant fear and forfeit basic freedoms as a result of their sacrifice?
All across the land there will be tributes and commemorations. The Nationalistic Football League will wave large flags and sing the anthem and God Bless America and mention the sacrifices made to honor America by our military heroes.
Like Dave Zirin said in his blog today, there'll be no mention of Pat Tillman. Nor Camilio Mejia, Pablo Paredes, Kelly Dougherty, Garret Reppenhagen, Cindy Sheehan or all the other heroes who have spoke out against the immorality of the wars. All except Cindy served. Cindy lost her son, Casey.
Noam Chomsky wrote an article today that questioned the way we look at 9-11. I haven't read it yet because I want to put my own thoughts down first.
By chance or some karmic force, I picked up John Hershey's book, HIROSHIMA yesterday. It was written days after the nuclear bomb was dropped on the city of Hiroshima in 1945. It's a hidden masterpiece of the true cost of nationalism and terrorism. American terrorism. Howard Zinn wrote about Hiroshima and the sacrosanct history most Americans choose to hold onto. Again, we have to keep in mind the perspective of time and place. In the first blast of the bomb over 100,000 people were killed in minutes. Tens of thousands more died hours and days after the bomb being dropped. The huge majority of the dead were non-combatants. Hiroshima was far from a military target. It was a psychological target. Days later, another bomb was dropped on Nagasaki with the same type of casualties.
The mushroom clouds of Hiroshima and Nagasaki obscure the cloud of the Twin Towers falling on September 11, 2001. But the dead Japanese weren't Americans, they were non-whites and their government was at war with our government. The dead children and families weren't Americans. The bombed Red Cross Hospital John Hershey writes about didn't have American patients. And besides the American government would tell us all the bombs incinerating Hiroshima and Nagasaki saved upwards of a half million American lives. A fallacy but something they'd like us to believe.
The 6000 plus dead American troops and at least one million dead Iraqis obscure the number of dead at "ground zero" of the 9-11 attacks. And there are still no weapons of mass destruction nor any connection to Iraq and the attack on the World Trade Center. The shock and awe of the first wave of attacks on Iraq killed mostly innocent civilians. Thousands of them children. Our democratic reform has been a sham and what has happened is an American occupation leading to sectarian hatred and violence. And increased hatred for Americans in the Muslim world and around the world. What victory have we gained in our vengeance? The same scenario has taken place in Afghanistan. A corrupt regime like the regimes put in power by the American government in Vietnam and Central America has brought only shame to the thought of bringing democracy to that nation.
Of course, the end game was always dictated by big businesses like Halliburton, KBR, Blackwater and the multinational oil companies.
What we have done in the wake of the attack of 9-11 brings only shame to the memory of those who died. From the immoral and illegal wars to the fear mongering, renditions, water boarding torture, profiteering of huge coporations to the waste of American youth and innocent civilians, we have failed to bring honor to the victims of 9-11. We have not protected freedom in their names. We have stripped freedoms promised to all Americans out of fear that is fanned by the rhetoric and hatred of our government and the media acting as the megaphone for our government.
And we speak of terrorism like we are the greatest victims of it. And we fail to acknowledge our terroristic acts in Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Baghdad, Fallujah and Afghanistan.
This Sunday I won't watch the hypocrisy of the NFL waving the flags of militarism in phony honor of those who have served and paid the ultimate sacrifice. Not when their jingoism blinds them to all the victims of terror by all the masters of war.
Tuesday, August 30
Hear It's Your Birthday...
My youngest son is missing. Not that he isn't in town or lost in some wilderness, run away or some other catastrophic event.
He is lost in the wilderness of addiction and he's chosen crack cocaine as his fallback. When given an ultimatum to choose either family or crack, he chose crack.
Some would say we must be terrible parents to give up on our son. Those who have endured the terror and horror of a child's addiction know what the feelings are. My son has tried treatment, been educated about addiction, recovery and all aspects, believe me. He has the knowledge. We're now going on over 20 years of my son being involved in street drugs. Sunday was his birthday. We had a party for him and my daughter-in-law for their birthdays.
He never returned a call and didn't show up despite messages being left by my wife....his mother. We last saw him on Father's Day. I could tell he was jonse-ing about midway through the dinner get together. Then he inexplicably decided he had to go over to his friend's house. His friend has been caught up in the steam-roller of his addiction almost as long as my wife and me. He's my son's boss. He came back later but soon left telling me he loved me. I told him I loved him. I haven't seen him since.
Somehow the friend thought by "controlling" my son's money, he could control his addiction. Thing is, an addict will look you in the face and lie his ass off to manipulate getting his drug. He's controlled by the rush and the lifestyle. He'll deny it. He'll tell you he hates what he's doing. But when push comes to shove, an addict will brush off groups or treatment to go back to the pipe. He'll lie to his parents and other family members. He'll lie to what few friends he still has left.
I tried the money control thing. He lied time and again about why he needed money for things like groceries, gas, work items and on and on and on. I loved him but I didn't much like my son as he was. As he is. What parent could like a child who is smart enough to know he's slowly killing himself but like some fucking moth attracted to a flame continues on his fatal way?
I once wrote an article about parents lying awake at night in dread and worry because their child was in combat in one of this nation's insane wars. I had some insight about how they must feel since I was a combat vet but more importantly.....every time the phone rings, night or day. there is a part of me that dreads answering for fear it will be the bad news that I've come to expect for my son. Between memories of insane events of war and wondering about the whereabouts of my son, I lie awake during the night quite often.
Some theorize an addict or alcoholic benefits from always having a support system that will unconditionally accept where their life is at the moment. Done that. It made us angry and feeling like we were being used. We were being used. You see, an addict is a narcisscist. Everything is about them....and their drug. They think they know the pain they put others through but ultimately they only think of their own pain and rather than endure go get high. Addiction is an illness. So is diabetes. Addicts and diabetics have to treat their illness or die. Treatment is hard work and painful. It's easier to go get high.
Yeah, I am angry. I'm angry that my son can't get the treatment he needs unless he can put up over ten grand to enter a residential treatment program. I'm angry my son has reached the point where he has chosen his drug over family and friends. But ultimately ......in all things, individuals must make choices. Parents can't make choices for adult children. And parents have to move on to not go down the addiction rabbit hole that never has an answer.
For all those sanctimonious folks who say "that will never happen to my kid", beware. Addiction hits all socio-economic groups. Or haven't you been reading the gossip rags like NATIONAL ENQUIRER?
If I could, I'd guide my son to a path he can find true happiness, peace and a feeling of some security. I have always had that wish in my heart and mind for him. I've prayed until I've come to realize my prayers will not be answered. My faith in God has been tested. My son's addiction and the insane wars have caused me to lose my faith. Waiting for God's intervention is a big fantasy for me. One day I suddenly realized I was believing in a fairytale.
And so it goes. Happy Birthday, son. We love you.
.
He is lost in the wilderness of addiction and he's chosen crack cocaine as his fallback. When given an ultimatum to choose either family or crack, he chose crack.
Some would say we must be terrible parents to give up on our son. Those who have endured the terror and horror of a child's addiction know what the feelings are. My son has tried treatment, been educated about addiction, recovery and all aspects, believe me. He has the knowledge. We're now going on over 20 years of my son being involved in street drugs. Sunday was his birthday. We had a party for him and my daughter-in-law for their birthdays.
He never returned a call and didn't show up despite messages being left by my wife....his mother. We last saw him on Father's Day. I could tell he was jonse-ing about midway through the dinner get together. Then he inexplicably decided he had to go over to his friend's house. His friend has been caught up in the steam-roller of his addiction almost as long as my wife and me. He's my son's boss. He came back later but soon left telling me he loved me. I told him I loved him. I haven't seen him since.
Somehow the friend thought by "controlling" my son's money, he could control his addiction. Thing is, an addict will look you in the face and lie his ass off to manipulate getting his drug. He's controlled by the rush and the lifestyle. He'll deny it. He'll tell you he hates what he's doing. But when push comes to shove, an addict will brush off groups or treatment to go back to the pipe. He'll lie to his parents and other family members. He'll lie to what few friends he still has left.
I tried the money control thing. He lied time and again about why he needed money for things like groceries, gas, work items and on and on and on. I loved him but I didn't much like my son as he was. As he is. What parent could like a child who is smart enough to know he's slowly killing himself but like some fucking moth attracted to a flame continues on his fatal way?
I once wrote an article about parents lying awake at night in dread and worry because their child was in combat in one of this nation's insane wars. I had some insight about how they must feel since I was a combat vet but more importantly.....every time the phone rings, night or day. there is a part of me that dreads answering for fear it will be the bad news that I've come to expect for my son. Between memories of insane events of war and wondering about the whereabouts of my son, I lie awake during the night quite often.
Some theorize an addict or alcoholic benefits from always having a support system that will unconditionally accept where their life is at the moment. Done that. It made us angry and feeling like we were being used. We were being used. You see, an addict is a narcisscist. Everything is about them....and their drug. They think they know the pain they put others through but ultimately they only think of their own pain and rather than endure go get high. Addiction is an illness. So is diabetes. Addicts and diabetics have to treat their illness or die. Treatment is hard work and painful. It's easier to go get high.
Yeah, I am angry. I'm angry that my son can't get the treatment he needs unless he can put up over ten grand to enter a residential treatment program. I'm angry my son has reached the point where he has chosen his drug over family and friends. But ultimately ......in all things, individuals must make choices. Parents can't make choices for adult children. And parents have to move on to not go down the addiction rabbit hole that never has an answer.
For all those sanctimonious folks who say "that will never happen to my kid", beware. Addiction hits all socio-economic groups. Or haven't you been reading the gossip rags like NATIONAL ENQUIRER?
If I could, I'd guide my son to a path he can find true happiness, peace and a feeling of some security. I have always had that wish in my heart and mind for him. I've prayed until I've come to realize my prayers will not be answered. My faith in God has been tested. My son's addiction and the insane wars have caused me to lose my faith. Waiting for God's intervention is a big fantasy for me. One day I suddenly realized I was believing in a fairytale.
And so it goes. Happy Birthday, son. We love you.
.
Sunday, August 14
This Is My America, Mr. President and Mr. Speaker
I want you both to see the America I see in my lower middle class neighborhood here in Denver. This morning I drove down the block and saw three homes in foreclosure. I drove by the local park and saw a handsome young hispanic man carrying a backpack with bedroll on top. He had those Mayan features of many of our local Hispanic men and women. His hair was long and his skin has turned much darker over this summer because he lacks a place to live. I've never seen him beg but I see the sadness in his eyes every time I pass him. Being a combat vet myself I'm sure I see a thousand yard stare of another combat vet. Only he would be a vet of your making Mr. President and Mr. Speaker.
After the park I went to one of our busy intersections at Evans and Sheridan. While waiting for a light to change I look across the intersection and see a tall black man probably in his fifties. He's wearing a green tee shirt like the Marines wore in Vietnam. Like I wore back in 1968. There's holes in the shirt on the back. His jeans have holes in the knees. He's wearing a tattered pair of sneakers held together by duct tape. He carries a bedroll. His back is bent and he's limping down Sheridan. His face is unshaven and he looks weary and sad. His face has a stare of someone trying to ignore the pain, trying to dissociate himself from his reality of poverty and hopeless dreams of the future.
I stop by a local 7-11 to get a cup of coffee to wake myself up. I am already saddened by what I've seen in my "hood" today. When I come out of the 7-11, I see the black man limping across the driveway. I think about approaching him to ask if I could give him some money but I don't because I'm living pay check to pay check myself.
I drive down Sheridan to the local King Soopers grocer a mile away. After finishing up my shopping and returning to my car, I see this black American again walking through the parking lot. I've not once seen him beg. What I see up close is despair. I feel like sobbing, Mr. Speaker, Mr. President.
As I drive around the Harvey Park neighborhood I see panhandlers on every busy corner with signs asking for money. Some say, "help, I lost my job", some "Veteran needs help". Each sign has an individual story. Sure some are phony and the men and women on those corners are struggling with addictions but do you really think this is how these Americans want their lives to be, Mr. President and Mr. Speaker? Any one who thinks these are lazy people should stand on a corner and beg for help all day. I suggest you both try it sometime.
Yesterday I got an email from a friend who happens to be a professor at University of Colorado. She had asked me to help her help a friend who had been diagnosed with cancer. The friend was an attorney who had lost her home in a wildfire in one of the canyon areas near Boulder, Co. In addtion to losing her home, she had been back east to find a long term care facility for her elderly mother struggling with dementia. She also had a son who had been autistic all his life and required special care. Despite all the troubles of Stephanie's life she was able to go to school when she was in her thirties and passed the bar exam to become an attorney. She specialized in rights for the disabled. Not exactly an area for big money like you both gained from your degrees. But her son gave her a passion to help those who are disabled in this state because too often they are slipping through bureaucratic cracks caused by budget cuts in the state. The cuts came as a result of reduced federal help.
Besides having cancer, Stephanie was without healthcare benefits. The fire and her struggle with placing her mom had caused her to let expensive individual insurance lapse. My friend asked me if I had any thoughts of where Stepanie could go for her care.
I had tried talking with many of my associates and friends at the local mental health center I work at. They all gave me the same basic information that I had already given my friend. The Colorado Indigent Care Program was where they all said to start. The problem with CICP is they are overrun with Americans without insurance and needing care. Their budget has been cut due to the fiscal problems created by you two, Congress and the bankers and brokers you are so protective of in all that you do.
I had emailed my professor friend the information from my associates yesterday. The email I got back....the one I first mentioned....informed me Stephanie had died the day before, August 12th. So, there is where your great ideas for health care reform has gone to help people like Stephanie Mr. President and Mr. Speaker. We see a 46 year old American die before her autistic son and her mother with dementia because she waited too long to get the care she needed. Waited because she couldn't afford the bills she knew would come if she sought care. First she lost her son, then her home, then her mom and finally her life. Is this the America you two are telling us you want?
At my work recently I had a patient admitted to the crisis facility I am the RN for. The patient was suicidal in large part because of her medical problems. She had recently had a kidney transplant at the University of Colorado med school. She was indigent but the med school had gone ahead and done the transplant. Unfortunately they hadn't made sure my patient could secure the medication needed to prevent rejection of her new kidney. Even though she had been able to secure Medicaid/Medicare the copay for the medication was in the hundreds of dollars. My client was impoverished after she paid for a place to live and food.
I called, emailed and faxed information all around the Denver metropolitan area attempting to find a way to get the medication for my patient. All the efforts failed and I do know how to work the bureucratic mazes for my patients. My patient was discharged without ever securing the funds to pay her copay for her medication to protect her new kidney.
Given the time I could easily tell you both hundreds of stories like these. This is my America, Mr. President and Mr. Speaker. You both haven't a clue what the majority of Americans are going through. You both fail to serve as you claim you want to do because you are far too busy ensuring the rich contributors to your reelections are happy. You both have been complicit in widening the wealth gap between the poor and the advantaged rich. You claim reform is necessary but all you seek to do is further enrich the wealthy.
There are two Americas Mr. President and Mr. Speaker. Howard Zinn eloquently spelled it out in his writing. The two Americas are the haves and the have-nots and you both are guilty of betraying the have-nots. I truly wonder how you both live with the betrayals you and your colleagues in D.C. have inflicted upon the America I see every day.
.
After the park I went to one of our busy intersections at Evans and Sheridan. While waiting for a light to change I look across the intersection and see a tall black man probably in his fifties. He's wearing a green tee shirt like the Marines wore in Vietnam. Like I wore back in 1968. There's holes in the shirt on the back. His jeans have holes in the knees. He's wearing a tattered pair of sneakers held together by duct tape. He carries a bedroll. His back is bent and he's limping down Sheridan. His face is unshaven and he looks weary and sad. His face has a stare of someone trying to ignore the pain, trying to dissociate himself from his reality of poverty and hopeless dreams of the future.
I stop by a local 7-11 to get a cup of coffee to wake myself up. I am already saddened by what I've seen in my "hood" today. When I come out of the 7-11, I see the black man limping across the driveway. I think about approaching him to ask if I could give him some money but I don't because I'm living pay check to pay check myself.
I drive down Sheridan to the local King Soopers grocer a mile away. After finishing up my shopping and returning to my car, I see this black American again walking through the parking lot. I've not once seen him beg. What I see up close is despair. I feel like sobbing, Mr. Speaker, Mr. President.
As I drive around the Harvey Park neighborhood I see panhandlers on every busy corner with signs asking for money. Some say, "help, I lost my job", some "Veteran needs help". Each sign has an individual story. Sure some are phony and the men and women on those corners are struggling with addictions but do you really think this is how these Americans want their lives to be, Mr. President and Mr. Speaker? Any one who thinks these are lazy people should stand on a corner and beg for help all day. I suggest you both try it sometime.
Yesterday I got an email from a friend who happens to be a professor at University of Colorado. She had asked me to help her help a friend who had been diagnosed with cancer. The friend was an attorney who had lost her home in a wildfire in one of the canyon areas near Boulder, Co. In addtion to losing her home, she had been back east to find a long term care facility for her elderly mother struggling with dementia. She also had a son who had been autistic all his life and required special care. Despite all the troubles of Stephanie's life she was able to go to school when she was in her thirties and passed the bar exam to become an attorney. She specialized in rights for the disabled. Not exactly an area for big money like you both gained from your degrees. But her son gave her a passion to help those who are disabled in this state because too often they are slipping through bureaucratic cracks caused by budget cuts in the state. The cuts came as a result of reduced federal help.
Besides having cancer, Stephanie was without healthcare benefits. The fire and her struggle with placing her mom had caused her to let expensive individual insurance lapse. My friend asked me if I had any thoughts of where Stepanie could go for her care.
I had tried talking with many of my associates and friends at the local mental health center I work at. They all gave me the same basic information that I had already given my friend. The Colorado Indigent Care Program was where they all said to start. The problem with CICP is they are overrun with Americans without insurance and needing care. Their budget has been cut due to the fiscal problems created by you two, Congress and the bankers and brokers you are so protective of in all that you do.
I had emailed my professor friend the information from my associates yesterday. The email I got back....the one I first mentioned....informed me Stephanie had died the day before, August 12th. So, there is where your great ideas for health care reform has gone to help people like Stephanie Mr. President and Mr. Speaker. We see a 46 year old American die before her autistic son and her mother with dementia because she waited too long to get the care she needed. Waited because she couldn't afford the bills she knew would come if she sought care. First she lost her son, then her home, then her mom and finally her life. Is this the America you two are telling us you want?
At my work recently I had a patient admitted to the crisis facility I am the RN for. The patient was suicidal in large part because of her medical problems. She had recently had a kidney transplant at the University of Colorado med school. She was indigent but the med school had gone ahead and done the transplant. Unfortunately they hadn't made sure my patient could secure the medication needed to prevent rejection of her new kidney. Even though she had been able to secure Medicaid/Medicare the copay for the medication was in the hundreds of dollars. My client was impoverished after she paid for a place to live and food.
I called, emailed and faxed information all around the Denver metropolitan area attempting to find a way to get the medication for my patient. All the efforts failed and I do know how to work the bureucratic mazes for my patients. My patient was discharged without ever securing the funds to pay her copay for her medication to protect her new kidney.
Given the time I could easily tell you both hundreds of stories like these. This is my America, Mr. President and Mr. Speaker. You both haven't a clue what the majority of Americans are going through. You both fail to serve as you claim you want to do because you are far too busy ensuring the rich contributors to your reelections are happy. You both have been complicit in widening the wealth gap between the poor and the advantaged rich. You claim reform is necessary but all you seek to do is further enrich the wealthy.
There are two Americas Mr. President and Mr. Speaker. Howard Zinn eloquently spelled it out in his writing. The two Americas are the haves and the have-nots and you both are guilty of betraying the have-nots. I truly wonder how you both live with the betrayals you and your colleagues in D.C. have inflicted upon the America I see every day.
.
Wednesday, May 4
The bin Laden Shell Game
So, bin Laden is dead and our mission is completed in Afghanistan and Iraq, right? Yeah, right!!
Americans have been fed the story of the boogie-man bin Laden while American imperialists and the same rich bastards responsible for the collapse of the economy will continue to cash in on oil rich Iraq and the land of a strategic pipeline, Afghanistan. And, lest we forget, wars create opportunity for the military industrial complex to profit greatly. Or, as Smedley Butler so aptly stated, "war is a racket!".
The ghoulish gathering of loud and proud Americans chanting "USA, USA" as if attending an Olympic hockey match at the gates of the White House and at "ground zero" in New York City sends a chill down my spine. I'm glad the threat of bin Laden has been eliminated from the many fears constantly provided us by our governmental "protectors". It seems preferable bin Laden would have been captured and put on trial but we all knew that was never in the cards. But, cheering the death of an individual in the manner the end of WWII was cheered is indicative of a nation that has lost its moral center.
I was touched at one report of a 9-11 survivor saying he was happy if it meant just on less violent death but he couldn't cheer for another violent death even if it was bin Laden. His was the voice of reason and reflection but his sentiment was far from the prevailing attitude in the US.
And, of course, the mainstream media has set up the circus tents of over exposure and sent the usual talking head clowns to bleed the story in celebratory glee. Mothers and fathers of troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq have been sought out to comment on the death of the terrorist "monster". But only mothers and fathers who choose to hold on to the notion both wars were "good" wars and their children didn't die being duped by the masters of war who lack conscience and morality. Cindy Sheehan wasn't interviewed by the alphabet networks.
The sad truth is ignored about the military invasions of both Iraq and Afghanistan. Ground wars with large troop deployments are antiquated and insane in attempts to uncover terrorist cells intent on attacking this nation. It takes good investigation, good planning and elite troops trained in counter-insurgency to be successful. 24 Navy Seals were responsible for the mission of entering bin Laden's compound and basically assassinating him. Not 50,000 or 100,000 troops only barely trained to fight a ground war in nations they knew far too little about. It didn't take cruise missiles or 1,000 pound bombs, It didn't take indiscriminate attacks by mercenary troops trained by American tax dollars and then hired by private security companies contracted to "guard" high profile figures in the war zone to bring down bin Laden.
The question has to be asked why there will be over one million troops who have been exposed to combat in two wars having nothing to do with protecting the security of the American people. Why have thousands of American sons and daughters died or been maimed physically or emotionally for these meaningless wars? Why have up to a million or more civilians been killed purposefully or accidentally by this nation's careless wars?
Americans do not want to hear the truth. They don't want to hear the wars had nothing to do with national security. They don't want to hear over a trillion dollars of tax dollars has been for no other reason than padding the profits of a small group of powerful merchants of death. Halliburton, KBR, Blackwater and others earned huge profits in the most privatized national war in US history. The common thread of all these contractors was their ties with the Bush/Cheney/Rove cabal. And the bought off politicians of Congress. The winners of these wars and most wars are the masters of war who sacrifice nothing and profit obscenely in the blood of poor and middle class troops and helpless civilians.
Americans don't want to hear their alleged "voluntary military" is predominately staffed because of the "poverty draft". Mediocre and average students were met with a crashing economy and little or no employment or educational opportunities. The military offered them a "way out" by luring them with job security (unless they were killed), health benefits, tuition and housing. It is no accident recruiters focused their efforts in decaying urban centers and dying small towns. The poor and middle class have bore the brunt of American wars since this nation was born. And, in Iraq and Afghanistan, the sacrifice is once again unequally endured by the poor and middle class.
I have a vivid memory of attending the second inauguration of George W. Bush. I went with a petite young medical doctor who is an American citizen but has family in the southern part of Iraq. We went to voice our protest against the policies of Bush in Iraq and Afghanistan. For some bizarre reason the authorities directed Bush supporters decked out in fur coats and designer clothing down Pennsylvania Avenue right into the teeth of the members of the peace movement. My friend, all 95 pounds of her, confronted these rich supporters of Bush as they passed with the question, " are you sending your sons and daughters to Iraq and Afghanistan?". Most of the Bush elites said nothing but one did speak up. He told her his children were going to college because of our actions to protect our nation in these nations. Astounding! At that point I had to grab my friend to keep her from attacking the man.
This memory speaks volumes about the polarization of the nation we live in. There are the "haves" and there are the "have nots". And we all know who pays the price and fails to ever profit from the eternal flames of American wars.
Obama and the elite of the government and their puppet masters of industry would have us believe the economy's crash isn't tied to the wars and the profiteers. Amazingly, Americans continue to ignore the elephant in the room when it comes to reasons the economy is in a "depression"....not a recession, a depression. That elephant continues to be the willingness to sacrifice our children and the resources of our nation to violence in form of war or constant violent interference. Teachers, unions, state workers, even firefighters and cops are made the scape goats for the decline in the economy. These are all ploys to evade the truth. War is the great undertow dragging Americans down the economic drain. Except for those who are the profiteers, racketeers or gangster bankers and brokerage firms who finance the death and violence of war.
It all makes me want to holler!
And sing the old ballad about where have all the flowers gone.......when will we ever learn?
Americans have been fed the story of the boogie-man bin Laden while American imperialists and the same rich bastards responsible for the collapse of the economy will continue to cash in on oil rich Iraq and the land of a strategic pipeline, Afghanistan. And, lest we forget, wars create opportunity for the military industrial complex to profit greatly. Or, as Smedley Butler so aptly stated, "war is a racket!".
The ghoulish gathering of loud and proud Americans chanting "USA, USA" as if attending an Olympic hockey match at the gates of the White House and at "ground zero" in New York City sends a chill down my spine. I'm glad the threat of bin Laden has been eliminated from the many fears constantly provided us by our governmental "protectors". It seems preferable bin Laden would have been captured and put on trial but we all knew that was never in the cards. But, cheering the death of an individual in the manner the end of WWII was cheered is indicative of a nation that has lost its moral center.
I was touched at one report of a 9-11 survivor saying he was happy if it meant just on less violent death but he couldn't cheer for another violent death even if it was bin Laden. His was the voice of reason and reflection but his sentiment was far from the prevailing attitude in the US.
And, of course, the mainstream media has set up the circus tents of over exposure and sent the usual talking head clowns to bleed the story in celebratory glee. Mothers and fathers of troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq have been sought out to comment on the death of the terrorist "monster". But only mothers and fathers who choose to hold on to the notion both wars were "good" wars and their children didn't die being duped by the masters of war who lack conscience and morality. Cindy Sheehan wasn't interviewed by the alphabet networks.
The sad truth is ignored about the military invasions of both Iraq and Afghanistan. Ground wars with large troop deployments are antiquated and insane in attempts to uncover terrorist cells intent on attacking this nation. It takes good investigation, good planning and elite troops trained in counter-insurgency to be successful. 24 Navy Seals were responsible for the mission of entering bin Laden's compound and basically assassinating him. Not 50,000 or 100,000 troops only barely trained to fight a ground war in nations they knew far too little about. It didn't take cruise missiles or 1,000 pound bombs, It didn't take indiscriminate attacks by mercenary troops trained by American tax dollars and then hired by private security companies contracted to "guard" high profile figures in the war zone to bring down bin Laden.
The question has to be asked why there will be over one million troops who have been exposed to combat in two wars having nothing to do with protecting the security of the American people. Why have thousands of American sons and daughters died or been maimed physically or emotionally for these meaningless wars? Why have up to a million or more civilians been killed purposefully or accidentally by this nation's careless wars?
Americans do not want to hear the truth. They don't want to hear the wars had nothing to do with national security. They don't want to hear over a trillion dollars of tax dollars has been for no other reason than padding the profits of a small group of powerful merchants of death. Halliburton, KBR, Blackwater and others earned huge profits in the most privatized national war in US history. The common thread of all these contractors was their ties with the Bush/Cheney/Rove cabal. And the bought off politicians of Congress. The winners of these wars and most wars are the masters of war who sacrifice nothing and profit obscenely in the blood of poor and middle class troops and helpless civilians.
Americans don't want to hear their alleged "voluntary military" is predominately staffed because of the "poverty draft". Mediocre and average students were met with a crashing economy and little or no employment or educational opportunities. The military offered them a "way out" by luring them with job security (unless they were killed), health benefits, tuition and housing. It is no accident recruiters focused their efforts in decaying urban centers and dying small towns. The poor and middle class have bore the brunt of American wars since this nation was born. And, in Iraq and Afghanistan, the sacrifice is once again unequally endured by the poor and middle class.
I have a vivid memory of attending the second inauguration of George W. Bush. I went with a petite young medical doctor who is an American citizen but has family in the southern part of Iraq. We went to voice our protest against the policies of Bush in Iraq and Afghanistan. For some bizarre reason the authorities directed Bush supporters decked out in fur coats and designer clothing down Pennsylvania Avenue right into the teeth of the members of the peace movement. My friend, all 95 pounds of her, confronted these rich supporters of Bush as they passed with the question, " are you sending your sons and daughters to Iraq and Afghanistan?". Most of the Bush elites said nothing but one did speak up. He told her his children were going to college because of our actions to protect our nation in these nations. Astounding! At that point I had to grab my friend to keep her from attacking the man.
This memory speaks volumes about the polarization of the nation we live in. There are the "haves" and there are the "have nots". And we all know who pays the price and fails to ever profit from the eternal flames of American wars.
Obama and the elite of the government and their puppet masters of industry would have us believe the economy's crash isn't tied to the wars and the profiteers. Amazingly, Americans continue to ignore the elephant in the room when it comes to reasons the economy is in a "depression"....not a recession, a depression. That elephant continues to be the willingness to sacrifice our children and the resources of our nation to violence in form of war or constant violent interference. Teachers, unions, state workers, even firefighters and cops are made the scape goats for the decline in the economy. These are all ploys to evade the truth. War is the great undertow dragging Americans down the economic drain. Except for those who are the profiteers, racketeers or gangster bankers and brokerage firms who finance the death and violence of war.
It all makes me want to holler!
And sing the old ballad about where have all the flowers gone.......when will we ever learn?
Monday, April 25
Jesus Christ, Inc.
Jesus Christ, Inc.
Easter and Christmas are the most obvious days of observing the life and legacy of Jesus Christ by Christians around the world. Obvious, because both days are basatardized into consumer holidays for multinational corporations. Most telling is the fact the American economy’s health is in large part based on Christmas spending. Retailers’ profits and financial well-being are made or lost by this holiday spending.
Easter, though less commercialized, is also an important consumer holiday. Easter bunnies, candy and large amounts of food are necessary to properly celebrate the season in most Christian homes here in the United States. And all those Hallmark moments need Hallmark cards to tell loved ones what could easily be said around the table or in the privacy of the home. But, somehow, there seems to be a great need to have a token of love. Cards and presents are the American way.
All this begs the question where Jesus Christ fits into the picture. Christ has become the golden calf of the retailers and merchants of the Christian world. Jesus is the late night pitchman that seems to compel Christians to consume, spend, consume. And Christmas and Easter are only the two most obvious examples of how Pharisees have marketed the name of Jesus Christ.
In the city I live there are hundreds of large and small stores profiting from the sale of Christian products. Bibles, prayer books, statues, cards, rosaries, jewelry, shirts and on and on are all part of the marketing of Christ. Each sect of Christianity has their own items for sale. Each one has their own biblical interpretation requiring separate bibles for their faithful. Some families insist on having an expensive family bible. It’s not clear if having the expensive bible makes one a better Christian or paves the way to heaven but Christians are influenced to buy bibles for Christ.
Since I’m a former Catholic, and also Baptist, I can witness to the wealth of the churches from buildings to organizations to overt commercialization of the image and philosophy of Christ. At the Vatican there are countless pieces of art that are priceless. But were they for sale they would garner huge amounts on the open market. Any other organization would call this bounty what it really is – assets.
The evangelical movement of Christianity has become not only a faith community with huge following but it is a multi-billion dollar business operation. Focus On the Family and multiple mega-churches don’t just preach the word of God and Jesus, they preach the Word of capitalism and consumerism.
As a child growing up in a Baptist family from the South, I always wondered why there was always a collection for building a new church. It seemed the “not quite full” church building in real time wasn’t ever large enough. As I grew older and looked around the towns and cities I grew up in, I kept seeing larger and larger church buildings that seemed to be architectural masterpieces. I couldn’t help wondering how much it cost congregations to build these structures. I kept thinking about the Tower of Babel as I saw more and more of the elaborate church buildings.
I began to question why Christians thought expensive buildings and settings honored Jesus Christ’s life. How did the humble carpenter who sacrificed himself for his disciples become associated with wealth and materialism? How did days intended to honor the most holy of days become the Holy Grail for retailers and multi-national corporations?
It seems ironic in Christian America; Muslims are portrayed as godless and fanatical while Christianity is portrayed as the “true religion”. Why, then, is it Muslims who demonstrate respectful humility and reverence in honoring their most holy days while most Christians have “incorporated” materialism and profit into their most holy days?
I’ve still not shaken my uneasy feelings about Christian churches cajoling and begging for more, more, more from their parishioners through tithing or appeals. Since these churches have taken the financial route in the practice of faith, I have to ask what parishioners are getting for their money. NGOs around the world are sponsored by various religious groups and bring relief to those most in need around the world. Some, however, have imposed conditions on receiving the “charity” of the church. Struggling communities of different religions are often proselytized by NGO members prior to receiving needed supplies in the control of the NGO. This practice dates back to the settlers of the American West that opened Indian schools on reservations and demanded indigenous people accept the European way of life and religion. In some Christian homeless shelters the homeless must listen to the “word” before being served their meals.
And despite the good deeds sponsored by the money of the churches, there still seem to be more and more leaders of the churches living in the splendor of wealth and avarice. From the Pope living in the Vatican’s lavish settings to Joel Osteen and Pat Roberson living in mansions and having the ear of Presidents and the powerful it seems too much of the money collected on Sundays and through contributions of the lay people is being spent on things other than what Jesus may have intended to be spent in his name.
I know such heresy is challenged by faithful followers of Christ with arguments that are simply illogical. They’ll tell me “the church” isn’t a building or a man at the pulpit; it’s what’s in the “heart”. I know spiritual belief is an essential part of most human’s lives. I just question why the beauty of that spiritual belief is allowed to be soiled and tarnished by the cynical modern day Pharisees of Wal-Mart, Target, Macy’s and the others who take the love and joy of Christ and pervert it. I keep wondering why the faithful allow the most holy days honoring the birth, death and resurrection of Christ to be used to reap profits for corporations without souls and certainly not individuals as the U.S. Supreme Court would have us believe.
I also wonder who would remain faithful if their churches gave away the wealth accumulated and met in humble surroundings. Would the spiritual belief remain as strong? Christ was challenged in the desert and his faith in his father endured. How many alleged Christians could withstand a personal challenge in the desert?
Just saying.
Wm. Terry
Easter and Christmas are the most obvious days of observing the life and legacy of Jesus Christ by Christians around the world. Obvious, because both days are basatardized into consumer holidays for multinational corporations. Most telling is the fact the American economy’s health is in large part based on Christmas spending. Retailers’ profits and financial well-being are made or lost by this holiday spending.
Easter, though less commercialized, is also an important consumer holiday. Easter bunnies, candy and large amounts of food are necessary to properly celebrate the season in most Christian homes here in the United States. And all those Hallmark moments need Hallmark cards to tell loved ones what could easily be said around the table or in the privacy of the home. But, somehow, there seems to be a great need to have a token of love. Cards and presents are the American way.
All this begs the question where Jesus Christ fits into the picture. Christ has become the golden calf of the retailers and merchants of the Christian world. Jesus is the late night pitchman that seems to compel Christians to consume, spend, consume. And Christmas and Easter are only the two most obvious examples of how Pharisees have marketed the name of Jesus Christ.
In the city I live there are hundreds of large and small stores profiting from the sale of Christian products. Bibles, prayer books, statues, cards, rosaries, jewelry, shirts and on and on are all part of the marketing of Christ. Each sect of Christianity has their own items for sale. Each one has their own biblical interpretation requiring separate bibles for their faithful. Some families insist on having an expensive family bible. It’s not clear if having the expensive bible makes one a better Christian or paves the way to heaven but Christians are influenced to buy bibles for Christ.
Since I’m a former Catholic, and also Baptist, I can witness to the wealth of the churches from buildings to organizations to overt commercialization of the image and philosophy of Christ. At the Vatican there are countless pieces of art that are priceless. But were they for sale they would garner huge amounts on the open market. Any other organization would call this bounty what it really is – assets.
The evangelical movement of Christianity has become not only a faith community with huge following but it is a multi-billion dollar business operation. Focus On the Family and multiple mega-churches don’t just preach the word of God and Jesus, they preach the Word of capitalism and consumerism.
As a child growing up in a Baptist family from the South, I always wondered why there was always a collection for building a new church. It seemed the “not quite full” church building in real time wasn’t ever large enough. As I grew older and looked around the towns and cities I grew up in, I kept seeing larger and larger church buildings that seemed to be architectural masterpieces. I couldn’t help wondering how much it cost congregations to build these structures. I kept thinking about the Tower of Babel as I saw more and more of the elaborate church buildings.
I began to question why Christians thought expensive buildings and settings honored Jesus Christ’s life. How did the humble carpenter who sacrificed himself for his disciples become associated with wealth and materialism? How did days intended to honor the most holy of days become the Holy Grail for retailers and multi-national corporations?
It seems ironic in Christian America; Muslims are portrayed as godless and fanatical while Christianity is portrayed as the “true religion”. Why, then, is it Muslims who demonstrate respectful humility and reverence in honoring their most holy days while most Christians have “incorporated” materialism and profit into their most holy days?
I’ve still not shaken my uneasy feelings about Christian churches cajoling and begging for more, more, more from their parishioners through tithing or appeals. Since these churches have taken the financial route in the practice of faith, I have to ask what parishioners are getting for their money. NGOs around the world are sponsored by various religious groups and bring relief to those most in need around the world. Some, however, have imposed conditions on receiving the “charity” of the church. Struggling communities of different religions are often proselytized by NGO members prior to receiving needed supplies in the control of the NGO. This practice dates back to the settlers of the American West that opened Indian schools on reservations and demanded indigenous people accept the European way of life and religion. In some Christian homeless shelters the homeless must listen to the “word” before being served their meals.
And despite the good deeds sponsored by the money of the churches, there still seem to be more and more leaders of the churches living in the splendor of wealth and avarice. From the Pope living in the Vatican’s lavish settings to Joel Osteen and Pat Roberson living in mansions and having the ear of Presidents and the powerful it seems too much of the money collected on Sundays and through contributions of the lay people is being spent on things other than what Jesus may have intended to be spent in his name.
I know such heresy is challenged by faithful followers of Christ with arguments that are simply illogical. They’ll tell me “the church” isn’t a building or a man at the pulpit; it’s what’s in the “heart”. I know spiritual belief is an essential part of most human’s lives. I just question why the beauty of that spiritual belief is allowed to be soiled and tarnished by the cynical modern day Pharisees of Wal-Mart, Target, Macy’s and the others who take the love and joy of Christ and pervert it. I keep wondering why the faithful allow the most holy days honoring the birth, death and resurrection of Christ to be used to reap profits for corporations without souls and certainly not individuals as the U.S. Supreme Court would have us believe.
I also wonder who would remain faithful if their churches gave away the wealth accumulated and met in humble surroundings. Would the spiritual belief remain as strong? Christ was challenged in the desert and his faith in his father endured. How many alleged Christians could withstand a personal challenge in the desert?
Just saying.
Wm. Terry
Wednesday, April 20
Taxes are An Investment in Jobs
As the world turns back into the neo-con era of Bush and Cheney on steroids, the question must be asked; where are the so-called liberals, progressives and radicals to counter this obscene ruse of the plutocracy?
Where is the rage that ten years has passed and we’re still at war? Where is the outrage about the biggest rip off in American history when Wall Street and the banksters ruined our economy and then reaped huge rewards in taxpayer bailouts? And why don’t the American people know about the back door handouts given the rich and the same corrupt thieves from Wall Street and the giant banks by the Federal Reserve?
I still read about the elderly opposing healthcare reform and siding with the very corrupt politicians that plan on taking away vast amounts of care they will need in the very near future. What kind of toxic Kool-aid is being given these people that they fail to understand their collusion in the destruction of their own healthcare assurances in Medicare and Medicaid?
It simply boggles my mind when I hear teachers, cops, firemen and unions are responsible for the current economic disaster this nation finds itself. How stupid have we become!!
If we look back in history to see the most prosperous time in American history, we will find it was during the post-World War II period when unions had the highest membership. It occurred when we were building our infrastructure such as Eisenhower’s interstate highway dream. It occurred when Americans built things rather than flipped burgers or worked in the local 7-Eleven to supplement their incomes at Wal-Mart or other poor paying jobs.
Once the people in this nation took risks to accomplish things thought impossible. Once people in this nation understood social change had to occur and eventually it did occur. But in the world we have today we are like the kids riding bikes or being driven back and forth to school and back. We’re so afraid of a bump or bruise of some unnamed boogey-man we’ve become a nation of inertia. We’re frozen in indecision and fear promulgated by the lords of industry who seek to destroy all labor rights and lower the wages of the workers to a rate comparative to third world countries.
It’s already happening as companies like IKEA from Sweden are flocking to the shores of America for cheaper labor and freedom of union interference. Already the main American production site of IKEA has been accused of unfair labor practices and racism. IKEA deliberately chose sites in cities and states with the right to work laws crippling rights for collective bargaining.
In Sweden IKEA is a model of a company that has union workers paid at a reasonable wage (19.00 per hour) with benefits of “socialized medicine”. Unions respect the company for fair bargaining and allowing worker substantial leave time and a wage that is a living wage, meaning their workers can save.
But IKEA saw the right to work for less law in the US and realized they could pay workers 8-9 dollar per hour without benefits and without the right for collective bargaining. They saw the opportunity to enter a third world nation without worker protection that would lead to higher profits. They were also provided tax incentives from local governments allowing them to pay little or no American taxes.
Welcome to the third world, America!
We can only expect more of the same as Republicans elected to governorships and local offices have colluded to destroy labor rights and insure lower wages. This is the new jobs program they really had in mind. An example of the new America was the 50,000 jobs being offered by McDonalds across the nation. Thousands more than could be hired showed up desperate to get one of the jobs. The jobs once held by high school students and young people looking for their first job have now become premium jobs paying 8-9 dollars an hour.
Sensible people might think if Americans are to return to prosperous days it might take some investment in jobs building infrastructure and paying the workers enough to live on. In order to build and repair all the necessary things cities and states need to repair and build taxes must be raised to pay for the projects. Bond issues must be passed.
As strange as it seems to mention increasing taxes, common sense shows it is a perfect way to stimulate the economy. Put people to work earning enough to have some disposable income and they spend to drive an economy. Revenue increases for local and state governments allowing them to provide better schools, better roads, and better services governments should provide.
An example has taken place here in my hometown of Denver. The citizens of Denver passed several bond issues to improve the infrastructure of the city. Building cranes and workers are obviously evident all around downtown and all along light rail routes. Denver citizens were able to understand they had to tax themselves to “build” their city.
Where is the rage that ten years has passed and we’re still at war? Where is the outrage about the biggest rip off in American history when Wall Street and the banksters ruined our economy and then reaped huge rewards in taxpayer bailouts? And why don’t the American people know about the back door handouts given the rich and the same corrupt thieves from Wall Street and the giant banks by the Federal Reserve?
I still read about the elderly opposing healthcare reform and siding with the very corrupt politicians that plan on taking away vast amounts of care they will need in the very near future. What kind of toxic Kool-aid is being given these people that they fail to understand their collusion in the destruction of their own healthcare assurances in Medicare and Medicaid?
It simply boggles my mind when I hear teachers, cops, firemen and unions are responsible for the current economic disaster this nation finds itself. How stupid have we become!!
If we look back in history to see the most prosperous time in American history, we will find it was during the post-World War II period when unions had the highest membership. It occurred when we were building our infrastructure such as Eisenhower’s interstate highway dream. It occurred when Americans built things rather than flipped burgers or worked in the local 7-Eleven to supplement their incomes at Wal-Mart or other poor paying jobs.
Once the people in this nation took risks to accomplish things thought impossible. Once people in this nation understood social change had to occur and eventually it did occur. But in the world we have today we are like the kids riding bikes or being driven back and forth to school and back. We’re so afraid of a bump or bruise of some unnamed boogey-man we’ve become a nation of inertia. We’re frozen in indecision and fear promulgated by the lords of industry who seek to destroy all labor rights and lower the wages of the workers to a rate comparative to third world countries.
It’s already happening as companies like IKEA from Sweden are flocking to the shores of America for cheaper labor and freedom of union interference. Already the main American production site of IKEA has been accused of unfair labor practices and racism. IKEA deliberately chose sites in cities and states with the right to work laws crippling rights for collective bargaining.
In Sweden IKEA is a model of a company that has union workers paid at a reasonable wage (19.00 per hour) with benefits of “socialized medicine”. Unions respect the company for fair bargaining and allowing worker substantial leave time and a wage that is a living wage, meaning their workers can save.
But IKEA saw the right to work for less law in the US and realized they could pay workers 8-9 dollar per hour without benefits and without the right for collective bargaining. They saw the opportunity to enter a third world nation without worker protection that would lead to higher profits. They were also provided tax incentives from local governments allowing them to pay little or no American taxes.
Welcome to the third world, America!
We can only expect more of the same as Republicans elected to governorships and local offices have colluded to destroy labor rights and insure lower wages. This is the new jobs program they really had in mind. An example of the new America was the 50,000 jobs being offered by McDonalds across the nation. Thousands more than could be hired showed up desperate to get one of the jobs. The jobs once held by high school students and young people looking for their first job have now become premium jobs paying 8-9 dollars an hour.
Sensible people might think if Americans are to return to prosperous days it might take some investment in jobs building infrastructure and paying the workers enough to live on. In order to build and repair all the necessary things cities and states need to repair and build taxes must be raised to pay for the projects. Bond issues must be passed.
As strange as it seems to mention increasing taxes, common sense shows it is a perfect way to stimulate the economy. Put people to work earning enough to have some disposable income and they spend to drive an economy. Revenue increases for local and state governments allowing them to provide better schools, better roads, and better services governments should provide.
An example has taken place here in my hometown of Denver. The citizens of Denver passed several bond issues to improve the infrastructure of the city. Building cranes and workers are obviously evident all around downtown and all along light rail routes. Denver citizens were able to understand they had to tax themselves to “build” their city.
Tuesday, April 19
The Worst of Times
It has been the worst of times as my life dwindles down to precious few years left. The once proud American has become disillusioned, greedy and lacks compassion. The corporations have won not only personhood via a Supreme Court decision but they’ve won the battle of labor by pitting workers against each other. Meanwhile banks and Wall Street investors continue their toxic policies of ripping apart the American economy.
The crash of ’08 has done little to end the fraudulent practices of the robber barons. America’s most wealthy are on their way to making record profits while they dupe the public into believing a tax cut for the wealthiest ten percent will lead to jobs.
This fallacy of job creation by cutting taxes of the richest is accepted by Americans because they only listen and read the information from the media outlets owned by the very same rich.
Meanwhile a new movement of Tea Party Americans foolishly thinks they are a grassroots organization expressing the will of the American people. They refuse to understand or accept their roots stem from the dollars of Karl Rove and his cronies intent on carrying on the PNAC….plan for the new American century.
What’s even more astounding is the call for the end of Medicare and Medicaid, which are actually the most efficient healthcare systems in the nation. Not to mention they are the safety net for the poorest and the elderly. Amazingly the very elderly who will be most affected by such a bogus plan are falling all over themselves to support the actions that will gut these programs.
What the Tea Party really seems to be is a group of predominately white people who come across as people saying "I've got mine and I intend on keeping all of it without sacrificing anything". The TP's seem to be a mixture of racists, libertarians and survivalists who cannot accept a black man was elected President. They speak code that clearly demonstrates their racist ideology and their hatefulness toward the poor and the weakest living in this nation.
I see the same people in the Catholic church I attended. They are affluent and hold the parish hostage with their tithes in exchange for control of the parish dogma. The soothe their consciences by giving money to Catholic charities but look dimly on including the disenfranchised into the parish community. They look dimly on any priest suggesting the long wars in the Middle East are immoral and troops should be withdrawn.
In the rituals of the mass there are prayers for the "peace keepers" protecting American values meaning the troops. Whenever the deacons or priests are reminded there should be a petition for the innocent humans killed by our wars their response is akin to patting a schoolchild on the head and saying they understand. But they seldom petition their God for these innocents or for the end of war.
I've suggested the Church is implicitly supporting the wars because of the insurgents' faith being Muslim. What we are seeing is one more crusade of Christians against what they feel are godless Islamic fanatics. They fail to differientate or suggest the fanatics are a small minority of Muslims just as there is a small minority of fanatical Christians perpetuating the hate.
The hate is pervasive and palpable in this nation. And hate-mongers like Sara Palin, Rush Limbaugh and the Fox network make sure the hate keeps on coming. This hate and divisiveness keeps Americans distracted from the real issues of two wars costing billions upon billions, an unchecked and unregulated banking and investment system which diverts the wealth of Americans to the top ten percent and a government in city, state and federal realms intent on destroying all pretenses of a safety net for the weakest citizens of our nation.
The middle class is cannibalizing itself at the urging of the rich masters of industry and commerce. I can never remember a time of less hope for my country. Obama ran on a platform of hope but instead has led us to despair.
The crash of ’08 has done little to end the fraudulent practices of the robber barons. America’s most wealthy are on their way to making record profits while they dupe the public into believing a tax cut for the wealthiest ten percent will lead to jobs.
This fallacy of job creation by cutting taxes of the richest is accepted by Americans because they only listen and read the information from the media outlets owned by the very same rich.
Meanwhile a new movement of Tea Party Americans foolishly thinks they are a grassroots organization expressing the will of the American people. They refuse to understand or accept their roots stem from the dollars of Karl Rove and his cronies intent on carrying on the PNAC….plan for the new American century.
What’s even more astounding is the call for the end of Medicare and Medicaid, which are actually the most efficient healthcare systems in the nation. Not to mention they are the safety net for the poorest and the elderly. Amazingly the very elderly who will be most affected by such a bogus plan are falling all over themselves to support the actions that will gut these programs.
What the Tea Party really seems to be is a group of predominately white people who come across as people saying "I've got mine and I intend on keeping all of it without sacrificing anything". The TP's seem to be a mixture of racists, libertarians and survivalists who cannot accept a black man was elected President. They speak code that clearly demonstrates their racist ideology and their hatefulness toward the poor and the weakest living in this nation.
I see the same people in the Catholic church I attended. They are affluent and hold the parish hostage with their tithes in exchange for control of the parish dogma. The soothe their consciences by giving money to Catholic charities but look dimly on including the disenfranchised into the parish community. They look dimly on any priest suggesting the long wars in the Middle East are immoral and troops should be withdrawn.
In the rituals of the mass there are prayers for the "peace keepers" protecting American values meaning the troops. Whenever the deacons or priests are reminded there should be a petition for the innocent humans killed by our wars their response is akin to patting a schoolchild on the head and saying they understand. But they seldom petition their God for these innocents or for the end of war.
I've suggested the Church is implicitly supporting the wars because of the insurgents' faith being Muslim. What we are seeing is one more crusade of Christians against what they feel are godless Islamic fanatics. They fail to differientate or suggest the fanatics are a small minority of Muslims just as there is a small minority of fanatical Christians perpetuating the hate.
The hate is pervasive and palpable in this nation. And hate-mongers like Sara Palin, Rush Limbaugh and the Fox network make sure the hate keeps on coming. This hate and divisiveness keeps Americans distracted from the real issues of two wars costing billions upon billions, an unchecked and unregulated banking and investment system which diverts the wealth of Americans to the top ten percent and a government in city, state and federal realms intent on destroying all pretenses of a safety net for the weakest citizens of our nation.
The middle class is cannibalizing itself at the urging of the rich masters of industry and commerce. I can never remember a time of less hope for my country. Obama ran on a platform of hope but instead has led us to despair.
Monday, April 5
A Parent Sitting Up Late at Night (Aug 05)
I wrote this one during one of my frequent nights of being unable to sleep. Cindy Sheehan had just gone to Crawford, Texas to confront George W. Bush about the death of her son, Casey. Two days after I wrote this piece, I was in Camp Casey I.
Her story made me think, first as a parent of two sons, how it would be if they were in Iraq or Afghanistan in harm's way. It also made me think of how my parents looked when I returned from Vietnam.
I realized immediately upon seeing my parents for the first time in over thirteen months they'd been as much at war as I had been.
Only later in talking with my mom did I truly understand the inner turmoil that having a child go to war causes a parent. When I became a parent I had an even better understanding of what it means to have a child in harm's way.
Last evening I met a mother who had a son killed in Iraq. I listened to her compelling story near tears, with great sadness and with an overwhelming sense of rage.
As she talked, I saw in her the compassion and love I remember from my own mother. My mother was never the same after my tour of Vietnam and she was able to have me return alive if not entirely healthy.
Since I heard from many mothers about this article after I posted it, I felt it was something that does touch a parent in some way. I've decided maybe I should put it on top of my blog every so often as a remembrance of moms and dads who still grieve or still wait in horrible limbo.
With great love in my heart for all parents who face the grief or the constant unknown.
An now here it is in the year 2010. What's changed? Another quagmire in Afghansistan? This is why we voted for the young President who promised us dreams but has only kept the nightmares coming???
Terry Leichner, RN
Vietnam combat vet - USMC
Parent of two grown sons
Grandfather of three
Imagine (Written August 22 05)
Can you imagine what it would be like to see them come up to your door?
In uniforms and grim looks on their faces, and your child in the war.
Can you imagine how it must feel when they say those five words?
We regret to inform you…do you hear anything but those five words?
Can you imagine telling your husband or wife your child is gone?
Your child whose birth gave your greatest joy is gone.
I’m sitting here in the middle of the night wondering how someone could question a mother or father who lost a child to this war. How could someone in good conscience accuse a mother of politicizing the death of their child? Have we grown so disconnected with our humanity we can’t imagine the day a parent sees the dark colored car drive up to their street, up to their house and uniformed men emerge?
If you’re a parent, maybe you can imagine hearing those five words. It’s your greatest nightmare. You lie awake at night wondering where your child is at tonight.
You hate hearing the phone late at night. You hate seeing strange dark cars in your neighborhood. You can’t stand the newspaper or television news.
Then imagine the five words. Will you hear beyond them? Will you know before they say them?
Then there will be telling the rest of the family. You tell it over and over again…you child is gone. You want to scream out insanely. How can they be gone!!!!!?
Imagine the memories of your child first walking. The first words from their lips. The first worrisome cold. How can they be gone?
Imagine when you watched them swim, or skate or play baseball or football. Imagine playing basketball with them in the driveway in the fall as the leaves turned gold. Imagine the graduation and the joy in their face.
Imagine the day they leave your house to enter boot camp. The next time you see them their hair is short and they seem different and changed.
Imagine the last flight you see them off at the airport. The last phone call from the place of the war. The last letter.
Imagine the day when, with a broken heart and empty soul, you follow the dark hearse with your beloved child inside a casket. Imagine the numb feeling as you get out and see the burial plot where your child will be lowered into the earth. There will be words from the Bible, the Torah or Koran. They don’t bring your child alive.
There will be family all around you but you’ll be as lonely as you’ll ever be. They’ll hand you a triangle in red, white and blue like it will replace your child or there is something there to comfort you.
Imagine the final moments as the casket is lowered into the ground. The thought of your child leaving this earth before you rips at your heart. You hear over and over the words of sympathy and comfort and they are arrows that smash into your spirit in reminder of your child.
Then everybody leaves, you’re alone with only the terrible thoughts of the death of your child. You wonder how it really happened. You wonder if your child suffered. You wonder if they died alone. Death for you would be a welcome thing instead of these thoughts you have.
Imagine after the first month or so, everybody seems to think you’re able to be yourself again. They’ll never understand you’ll never be yourself again; you’ll never be whole again. Your child is gone and each day is a struggle to get up and each day the sorrow begins again.
Imagine returning to work and seeing the looks and the avoidance of some and the overbearing presence of others. They don’t know.
Imagine going to the grocery store and seeing a child with a smile like the smile of your child. You want to scream out your child is gone!! They’ll look the other way to avoid the sadness you hold in your heart.
Imagine the silence between you and other family members. You’re left to think of the moments of each day when your child would get up, go to school, return from school, go to a friends, eat dinner, go to practice, get ready for bed. Each moment so damn precious and you failed to recognize it at the time.
Imagine hearing a song and becoming tearful because it was your child’s favorite. Seeing a book and the memory of discussing the plot and characters with such joy.
That’s all I can do. Imagine it. My mom and dad feared it each day of 1968. They imagined it but they never heard those five words.
I imagined my sons being that dead child as I sat here this late, late night. My heart ached from just the thought of it. I had memories of them swimming and running. I remembered the day of each birth. I remembered reading Mark Twain or Watership Down to them.
All those memories of my children came flooding back to me and I couldn’t really imagine how gut wrenching awful it would be to hear those five fucking words!!!
“We regret to inform you….”
Her story made me think, first as a parent of two sons, how it would be if they were in Iraq or Afghanistan in harm's way. It also made me think of how my parents looked when I returned from Vietnam.
I realized immediately upon seeing my parents for the first time in over thirteen months they'd been as much at war as I had been.
Only later in talking with my mom did I truly understand the inner turmoil that having a child go to war causes a parent. When I became a parent I had an even better understanding of what it means to have a child in harm's way.
Last evening I met a mother who had a son killed in Iraq. I listened to her compelling story near tears, with great sadness and with an overwhelming sense of rage.
As she talked, I saw in her the compassion and love I remember from my own mother. My mother was never the same after my tour of Vietnam and she was able to have me return alive if not entirely healthy.
Since I heard from many mothers about this article after I posted it, I felt it was something that does touch a parent in some way. I've decided maybe I should put it on top of my blog every so often as a remembrance of moms and dads who still grieve or still wait in horrible limbo.
With great love in my heart for all parents who face the grief or the constant unknown.
An now here it is in the year 2010. What's changed? Another quagmire in Afghansistan? This is why we voted for the young President who promised us dreams but has only kept the nightmares coming???
Terry Leichner, RN
Vietnam combat vet - USMC
Parent of two grown sons
Grandfather of three
Imagine (Written August 22 05)
Can you imagine what it would be like to see them come up to your door?
In uniforms and grim looks on their faces, and your child in the war.
Can you imagine how it must feel when they say those five words?
We regret to inform you…do you hear anything but those five words?
Can you imagine telling your husband or wife your child is gone?
Your child whose birth gave your greatest joy is gone.
I’m sitting here in the middle of the night wondering how someone could question a mother or father who lost a child to this war. How could someone in good conscience accuse a mother of politicizing the death of their child? Have we grown so disconnected with our humanity we can’t imagine the day a parent sees the dark colored car drive up to their street, up to their house and uniformed men emerge?
If you’re a parent, maybe you can imagine hearing those five words. It’s your greatest nightmare. You lie awake at night wondering where your child is at tonight.
You hate hearing the phone late at night. You hate seeing strange dark cars in your neighborhood. You can’t stand the newspaper or television news.
Then imagine the five words. Will you hear beyond them? Will you know before they say them?
Then there will be telling the rest of the family. You tell it over and over again…you child is gone. You want to scream out insanely. How can they be gone!!!!!?
Imagine the memories of your child first walking. The first words from their lips. The first worrisome cold. How can they be gone?
Imagine when you watched them swim, or skate or play baseball or football. Imagine playing basketball with them in the driveway in the fall as the leaves turned gold. Imagine the graduation and the joy in their face.
Imagine the day they leave your house to enter boot camp. The next time you see them their hair is short and they seem different and changed.
Imagine the last flight you see them off at the airport. The last phone call from the place of the war. The last letter.
Imagine the day when, with a broken heart and empty soul, you follow the dark hearse with your beloved child inside a casket. Imagine the numb feeling as you get out and see the burial plot where your child will be lowered into the earth. There will be words from the Bible, the Torah or Koran. They don’t bring your child alive.
There will be family all around you but you’ll be as lonely as you’ll ever be. They’ll hand you a triangle in red, white and blue like it will replace your child or there is something there to comfort you.
Imagine the final moments as the casket is lowered into the ground. The thought of your child leaving this earth before you rips at your heart. You hear over and over the words of sympathy and comfort and they are arrows that smash into your spirit in reminder of your child.
Then everybody leaves, you’re alone with only the terrible thoughts of the death of your child. You wonder how it really happened. You wonder if your child suffered. You wonder if they died alone. Death for you would be a welcome thing instead of these thoughts you have.
Imagine after the first month or so, everybody seems to think you’re able to be yourself again. They’ll never understand you’ll never be yourself again; you’ll never be whole again. Your child is gone and each day is a struggle to get up and each day the sorrow begins again.
Imagine returning to work and seeing the looks and the avoidance of some and the overbearing presence of others. They don’t know.
Imagine going to the grocery store and seeing a child with a smile like the smile of your child. You want to scream out your child is gone!! They’ll look the other way to avoid the sadness you hold in your heart.
Imagine the silence between you and other family members. You’re left to think of the moments of each day when your child would get up, go to school, return from school, go to a friends, eat dinner, go to practice, get ready for bed. Each moment so damn precious and you failed to recognize it at the time.
Imagine hearing a song and becoming tearful because it was your child’s favorite. Seeing a book and the memory of discussing the plot and characters with such joy.
That’s all I can do. Imagine it. My mom and dad feared it each day of 1968. They imagined it but they never heard those five words.
I imagined my sons being that dead child as I sat here this late, late night. My heart ached from just the thought of it. I had memories of them swimming and running. I remembered the day of each birth. I remembered reading Mark Twain or Watership Down to them.
All those memories of my children came flooding back to me and I couldn’t really imagine how gut wrenching awful it would be to hear those five fucking words!!!
“We regret to inform you….”
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